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“In America, going on a date is really more like ‘interview night.’ You have to give your resume.” Gad Elmaleh

 

At any given time, there are relationship advisors that will tell you the ten, five, twenty, most important questions to ask when meeting a potential partner. I do not agree, not even a little.

My observation and personal experience are exactly the opposite. I mean there will always be the slick tonged devil that has glanced at the same advice column and is ready for whatever you want to hear. I have fallen prey to that guy, uh, dreadfully more than once. Blissfully ignorantly skipping off with the wrong guy hand in hand.

The most important thing is to understand, what is important to you? Loyalty, someone who is kind when you have the flu, rocks in the bedroom, conversation, compatibility, a person who likes their parents, someone who is generous, who is affectionate, a good citizen, a rebel, provider, laughter. Knowing what will keep you loving, appreciative, and together. Tall order?

 Just surmise your own love history, what has tanked and what did you really like?

From that point keep your eyes open observe. Many people can say they love their mother but what do you witness first hand? Does he drive off from her home in a tiff, cursing her name? Take the real live happening and make a solid decision if he has ‘mom issues’ he may not dig you as the mom to his children. Do not dare think that you can change him….I am not judging if you try, I have chased after folly more times than I care to admit.  What you can experience should weigh in more than the questions blurted out early on when all are on their best interview behavior. Actions speak louder than words, simple.

Read more insights into dating the many foils of a love journey in my book www.amanforeverypurpose.com

If you like someone give them a chance and see if they are polite to servers, to phone support, while driving, how they are to their friends, how they talk about their ex, their job, their boss? All clues into the heart and character of a person. As I said earlier, the process stems on what you are looking for.

Asking someone where they want to be in ten years, albeit interesting they could be somewhere completely different.

Life brings us changes, maybe a mate that can ride out changes with a positive heart would be suitable? Someone who can pivot and still hold their ground. How about fun, solid, kind and spoils? I’m thinking a person that cares about their family because one day they may want to make you a part of their family.

Tuck the questions up your sleeve and ask as you’re going along rather than the typical interview dating process. Be slick and keep your eyes open, love is nothing but surprising.

My Mantra: “Finding love through experience has unfolded many truths”