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“Learn from yesterday, live for today, hope for tomorrow. The important thing is not to stop questioning.” Albert Einstein

 Ready to give up?

After all you have every reason to. You’ve dated, you’ve internet dated, you’ve met new possibilities going out, and through friends. You’ve had your share of compromised relationships, hell they were a colossally wrong choice. Discouraged in your search for love? Trust me I get it.

I was the repeater of wrong men.

It is easily said that all the past relationships pave the way to where we are, that we would not change a thing! “It was meant to be”, barf. That the journey was worth it because of that special one that finally showed up.

I’m not sure if I agree, and would like to argue this theory in order to help clear the way to love more efficiently.

I know that I’ve personally dated the wrong guy in many forms throughout the years. Often times fooling myself into thinking that they were different, that they were “the one”! The tattered chain that wove all of my, wrong men, for me was the ‘unavailable’. Oh, and that I chose them. I seemed to really like that guy no matter what package he came in. After all, if he was firmly unavailable, and he finally chose me, I must be worthy, nauseating. Again barf.

We all have patterns that keep us in, or make us chase after the wrong one.

To clear the way to love it is important to recognize what your deal is. Blaming the jerk that you choose will only draw you back into the next jerk, sorry, it’s time to learn. Knowing that you chose that dumb-ass is step one. Why did you want to reform them, and what was your payoff?

Luck is preparation meeting opportunity. If you want to be lucky in love, you must be prepared to meet the right one, clear out the weeds from where you have been. Know your story is just that, a roadmap of lessons learned. Those lessons are jewels that make you precious, a rare commodity.

 Shorten your journey by looking closely into your past, your common threads. I dare you, for me that process was lickety-split enlightening.  

My friend “Oregon Guy” told me boldly to write down everything my past relationships had in common. I wrote them all down, that magically forced me to look at myself, not them. I love having brilliant friends.

I wrote about Oregon Guy in my book, yes, he won a chapter, in “A Man for Every Purpose, My Naked Journey Searching for Love”, a wise and funny read about my love journey. The dates, love, heartache, the men, oh the men!

Clearing the way for a lasting love means opening your heart for love to flow in and out. Knowing how to love yourself, learning from your past, forgiving yourself. Then the next time you will not compromise, you won’t need to. You will be loving and receiving love in a way that is shiny and brilliant.

My Mantra: “Love and losing love has taught me about myself and how to love”