LUNCH WITH THE EX OOPS, I FORGOT TO LEAVE THE BICTH BEHIND.

“Save a boyfriend for a rainy day – and another, in case it doesn’t rain.” Mae West

Lunch with an ex can seem like a tricky road to navigate. One thing was clear, I was going to look my best.

Is it a common theme that, in some way, we want our exes to pine for us? Of course, we don’t live with regret, but within a small-minded moment that is completely self-centered, we want them to. After all, we are worth missing!

The day had finally arrived. It was late summer, and I am a dress girl, so I dolled myself up with a blue dress and a jean jacket, washed hair, a glossy smile, and wedged sandals.

He positioned the break-up to be my idea. I knew better it was his. That did not make for a comfortable out when I never really wanted out. However, in hindsight, moving on was the healthiest choice. I had grown that into gratitude, but I still really liked this guy I just did.
I walked into the restaurant slightly nervous. He was waiting for me, looking good, fresh, and smelling great. I gave him a polite hug and breathed him in. Oh man, I shouldn’t have done that. Note to self: Do not smell the ex. I plunked myself down and was genuinely happy to see my friend, my ex.

He started with small talk. “How are you?”

I responded like one does “Good, happy to see you.”

He loaded the next question and asked, “Do you miss me?”

The bitch in me awoke, big time,

“Wasn’t that the plan? To miss each other? How is it good for me to want something I cannot have?” The answered-filled words flew out of my mouth a bit too loud, unfiltered, and riddled with sharpness.

He looked down at the table in awkward silence, aware that I had just hurt the man I would probably always like.

At that moment, I knew I had crossed the line. Friendships with exes can be there with boundaries that don’t fly off into anger. No regret no harm, no foul. Check, check I quickly recovered my inbreed graciousness and turned our lunch into lovely and light.

I am truly grateful for my journey and for the choices, some more wrong than others, that have led me to where I am. Rejection can equal protection; the love we choose to be in our lives can offer lessons in better understanding ourselves.

There is growth whether you are in ‘one’ relationship or have had a journey with men in a feeble attempt to understand yourself through the lens of those men. Who does that? Oh, that’s right, me. Who writes an entire book about those lessons? Again, me.
Our best insight into ourselves comes right from ourselves, no one else. I have beat myself up for colossally wrong choices, but upon healing, I became very aware I was broken and smashed apart to accept such a compromise for myself.

I look upon that girl who was once me with love, grace, and healing. I deserve all of those things and more. Life is a journey and the best way to set up for success is with love.
My Mantra: “The journey towards love can be insightful; embrace your path.”