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“The more one loves a mistress, the more one is ready to hate her.”

Francois de La Rochefoucauld

The forbidden fruit looks so ripe, damn. The neighbor next door seems so nice. Is the grass looking greener on the other side of the fence? I get it, home presents a piled up to-do list.

Bright and shiny does the unavailable look, no strings, no hassle. Who are we kidding? When sex is involved all bets are off. A strange thing called love could show up in your misguided affair, and the love you feel may or may not be mutual.

Where is your new lover during major holidays? Birthdays and kid’s celebrations? Where are you when family is family? Drinking with your friends, wondering how Christmas could ever feel that lonely? A call, a gift before or after, but never will you get the holiday meal.

An affair calls for seconds in every realm, that is the role of the mistress.

Do you think somehow you can change their mind with your abandon love making skills? Think again, remember holidays? This scenario will most likely end in huge mess of tears and self-doubt. Wondering why you would compromise with an unavailable person? You chose an unavailable, it is all on you. There are available lovers out there why didn’t you go that route? A good time to examine when you are riddled with self-flagellants and endless tears.

I had been there, dreadful. He was living in an apartment separating from his wife. It did not turn out that way. It seemed in that case he got himself a man-cave for a solid time out. I was the girl that landed in tears. They, the married couple, worked out their problems, I am happy for that. However, that does not negate the emotional crossfire I experienced in that awful love triangle.

I wrote a book sharing my love journey, if you can learn from others this read is for you. If not, a fun entertaining read endlessly searching for true love. “A Man for Every Purpose, My Naked Journey Searching for Love.” www.amanforeverypurpose.com.

I have also been on the rotten side of being cheated on. A pain I would wish on no one. Being lied to and losing your best friend all at once, confusion reigned.

If you are married and thinking about an affair… man up or woman up and tell your spouse, the one you once promised fidelity to. That way you both have a chance and your real feelings are brought into the light. Fair is fair and that is fair, an affair, not so much. Cheating is cowardice and for the weak liars of this world. If going outside your union for love tell the one you’re united with. You never know, they say cheating has to do with the way you feel not a sexual based matter. Perhaps by sharing with your spouse those feelings can be real for both of you?

Becoming a mistress may equal missing out. No judgement, just heated advice, save yourself the sorrow.

My Mantra: “Life and love can make turns that can lead you in the wrong direction, make a u-turn”