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“Always be kind, especially in times when it seems like everyone is giving up on each other. Love harder.” Madeline Brewer

Sometimes relationships reach the end of the road. For whatever reason, what was once marvelous no longer holds shine. You may have silently battled this out in your head without sharing with your partner, I understand.  Before you turn in your significant other think about the relationship… I have visited the used husband/boyfriend store and it is not looking all that swell. Much like trading in one set of problems for the next, messy business.

Do you know and understand your love languages and your partners? Love languages can be key to feeling loved and appreciated. Gary Chapman wrote a book “The Five Languages of Love”, I have given this book away at least twenty-five times. It is an easy read and when I read it I understood many peoples love language beyond my current love.

As I peeled through relationships like an onion painfully discovering myself, I also got closer to understanding my own love language. Seeing how I am an author and blogger it is no great leap that my main love language is words. My book is about a woman earnestly searching for love and it is very relatable, strung with pearls of wisdom. All of our journeys are very different yet very much the same. A simple matter of the heart.

Another important thing to know is the people you chose to be with is your choice. If you consider yourself a bad ‘picker’ trust me a bad pick is what you will get every time. The adjustment for a more fulfilled love is the shift that takes place when you realize it was not ‘them’ it was you with them, it was you choosing them, it was you continuing with them. You allowed it and continued with whatever ill-fitted match you were in.

There is great emancipation in knowing your culpability. Self-forgiveness may feel like a huge undertaking but the results often time will cause a significant shift.

Love is always worth it. Love is meant to help us grow. It is not a bubble and then onto the next bubble, that is hormones. Love takes place with self-awareness and great consideration toward your other half. I don’t consider all the love drama an easy task. However, the more you know about yourself, your love language and how to show love to your spouse the closer you get to feeling safe, appreciated, and heard.

Have a voice do not let your relationship slip away without a word, without a fight, without a voice. I have lost loves due to my stubborn silence coupled with denial, and that was nothing short of tragic. Learning as I went along I kept record and ultimately wrote about my love journey.

Read my book “A Man for Every Purpose, My Naked Journey Searching for Love” www.amanforeverypurpose.com and of course “The Five Languages of Love”. Know that you are not alone on your love journey.

My Mantra: “It is ok to fight for love, learning lessons within ourselves”