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“That’s what I think we’re all looking for – an honest love wherever you can find it.” Piper Perabo
It feels real, you really like the two of you together. The dates you’ve had were spot on. Your imagining the holidays, you may have the perfect person to go to Christmas at your Mom’s house! Your fancying a forever or at least ‘he will do’, after all that was a great roll in the hay. You tell your friends you think this is the one!
Not so fast. Basing your assumptions on a couple good dates and tumbling around naked may be premature.
List of questions you may want to ask yourself:
1. Have you had ‘the talk’, you know the conversation about exclusivity?
2. Has he introduced you to his friends or family? That is a telling sign, pay attention.
3. How often do you see each other?
Is it scheduled deal such as Tuesdays, Saturday, and Sunday afternoon every other week? Is he super busy with work or his kids, or time with his friends? These should be red flags. If you think your exclusive, think again. He may have a Monday, Wednesday, and Saturday afternoon girl to round out his week. Trust me I have been on the wrong end of that deal. I made it altogether easy, making me a part of his multi-dating routine. Don’t be shuffled.
4. Is he contacting you?
Or… do you reach out to him via text, photos or more? Pay attention here, that is not cute, flirty, or effective. Know this, that behavior does not hold the interest of men. I have said it before, men are hunters. If you are prostrating yourself, he has no chase. What I mean by that is hold back, be elusive, a dangling carrot is sexier than daily photos stream of your posed life. No mystery in that, mysterious is sexy. Guys like to figure out women, if they are slightly perplexed, they will continue to want to Indiana Jones the heck out of it. Honestly don’t we want to be pursued? Feels pretty good. If you are pursuing him, he will never pursue you, he doesn’t have to. You made yourself too easy and he will lose interest pretty quickly.
I am not saying you should change the way you are, be you.I am saying maybe changing some methods if the ones you are using do not work.
5. Do you know what you want in a mate?
6. Have you reflected back on your dating history as to what did and did not work?
This is huge, spend enough time with yourself and with these questions. Write it down for the greatest clarity. Phone your most honest friend getting feedback on what they have seen. It is always about you. You chose them, you stayed with them, know why.There is a dating ah ha moment out there and it is close by.
My Mantra: “Dating history is a brilliant pathway in our love journey”