199 total views, 7 views today

“You just need a good plan and then a back-up plan!” Katherine Kelly

Life seems sweetly simple, until it is not. Life’s changes do not discriminate, they are for everyone, no exceptions.

No one gets married and plans for divorce, well almost no one. Pre-nuptial agreements may actually be the definition of preparing for divorce. That aside, when we get married it is usually a ‘this is it’ understanding. Until it is not. People change, babies bring stress, affairs happen, or after years you realize you have grown apart. All ok, but where’s the little black dress, savings account and your back up plan?

What if your marriage is bliss, or mostly bliss? No need to prepare then, right? Wrong!

There’s illness, accident, or god forbid, the proverbial walking across the street and bam, a bus. Once again, is it awful to get organized for such calamity?

We need to know how to run finances, or understand what our partner does, if we need to. We need to squirrel away enough money to be ok if said partner runs off with a twenty-something to reload his life in the game of second chances. A good attorney is wonderful, but so is cushion. Afterall we may want to have a second chance at a life without our partner.

We need to have a real conversation with our partner about health insurance, life insurance, and retirement.

We need to make ourselves assured that when an unwelcome change shows up, we can put on our little black dress and pull it together.

Taking charge before, or while the shit hits the fan. Rid yourself of credit card debt and start a savings of your own. Get trust documents in order and chose a medical directive. All boring details, but girl I am telling you, these things matter. See if you can get a consultation with a financial advisor to understand monies, retirement plans, and investments. Yawn, super dull, but if there was a list, this would be on it.

I have been twice divorced with three children. I have seen dark days and ultimate disappointment in the unwelcomed changes that were hoisted upon me. I have reinvented myself from Mom, to in home day-care, to dog sitter, to a woman on the lookout for love. Always a warrior for love.  I have become a blogger, author, painter, horse rider as a job, and once again a wife. Life has brought changes; I have had to accept. To truly be a woman of substance and grit you must get wise.

Gone are the days when hiding your head in the sand was a bit proper as marriages did not divorce but carried through, as society called for.

We are independent in are choices, and so we should be. Find liberation in preparing for what-ifs. Hang onto the perfect little black dress and keep a back of plan that is filled with love not fear.

My Mantra: “Getting myself together helps me to keep myself together”