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“Don’t worry about not fitting in. The things that make people think you’re weird are what makes you you, and therefore your greatest strength.” Birgitte Hjort Sorensen


Fitting in seems to be a part of our society from early on. There is a hierarchy we all know it, and we all know our place within. This pecking order seems to span the test of time and slides sadly through the decades. . .The popular group, the sporty group, the geeky smart group, the sophisticates, troublemakers and so on.

 I knew where I fit, and where I wasn’t welcomed early on.  

Seeking approval from others is normal. I have had my share of acceptance, and rejections throughout my childhood and well into my dating years. Unrequited love the most devastating. Obsessive one sided love that existed within my tattered thoughts. Caring deeply for an impossible love that will never, ever love you back, dreadful.

I was a single mother of three, many married woman looked down at me. I knew it, to survive I needed to not care. I had a job to do. Usher my children into adulthood. My biggest challenge was not to judge them for their perfect life, exclusion of me, and shiny husbands.

 Upon grown-up reflection, I started to not care what others thought of me. I fiercely forged my own path. Maybe I did care because of my determination not to care?

Anyhoo, as an adult I have long since tried not to please everyone. It is not my job to see to the happiness of others. Embracing a Popeye like attitude ‘I yam who I yam’. I don’t give a rat’s ass if someone didn’t like me. I certainly don’t like everyone.

 It seems natural to have a tribe of like-minded folks. Thank god for that wonderful tribe.

Comparing myself with anyone will bring upon judgement of others, and self-criticism.

I am an author, my book is out for all to read, nothing has changed. Perhaps balance may mean growing a tough skin and a soft heart? I don’t take it personal if someone doesn’t dig me.

Being an author makes me vulnerable and I signed up for that. I am glad I did. Maybe that is a part of my journey?

 If you are worried about fitting in, ask yourself why? Maybe where you fit is the right place for you?

My Mantra: “I don’t dare compare. I am grateful for my loving friends”

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About the Author:

Tink, Katinka, KatieKate, Mamu. All names given to me depicting the many hats I wear. Although I would like to say I am organized, focused and cookie-cutter, that simply would not be me. I am no different than any other single woman in the world. I love to love, love hard, and, in the end, have learned to love myself above all else. So here I am, writing about the many men and the multiple purposes they have served in my life. I have realized not one man on my roster has fulfilled every single one of my needs. Perhaps one man is not supposed to? I have compiled snippets of the men that have entered my world. In the end, they have shoved me towards my bathroom mirror, forcing me to take a better look at myself.