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“New clothes are a great way to deal after a breakup. A good mix CD also helps you get through it and… you know, 72 hours of ice cream.” Jennifer Love Hewitt
Summer was a breeze you were into your routine and love was in the sunshiny air. Fall creeped in quickly with Thanksgiving commitments promptly followed by Christmas and New Year’s. Check and check, you had a date in place, that was nice.
Meanwhile if things are not right on one side of the equation then January makes sense for parting. It is after New Year’s and before the dreaded Valentine’s Day.
Many exit strategies exist on that logic alone.
In the long run January break up month may not be such a bad thing.
January is the month that everyone makes self-promises, hopeful resolutions.
If you are on the break up end, or the healing end maybe your personal resolution is to learn from past loves?
Breakups can shake you to your core and make you question everything. There is a process of healing in place and it includes but is not limited to grief.
You are not alone in January if a break up is what has happened. Wondering if national break month should recognizable? This is my cheeky theory, my personal experience on both sides of breaking up. And yes sadly, I had gone through breakups in different months.
If January happens to be your break up month a few things you can do to begin to move on. I had been down in the dumps after being dumped, and am no stranger to love pain.
The aftermath of a breakup is most likely devastating. The end of a romantic relationship can lead to intrusive thoughts and those thoughts can spiral. It can be hard learning how to move on when your routine and life was jostled. While in the throes of a breakup be kind to yourself. The grieving process is a process. Finding a new normal is what is called for however that may take some time.
Changing the way, you think about your ex is important. If you dwell on what was amazing it can throw you deeper into the darkness. Accepting the reasons that you are better apart is vital.
Jumping into the next relationship albeit a great distraction, may not help the grieving process. If you are a repeater-dater in your choice of loves, then that is what you will do, repeat, different person same mess. Until you decide where you were culpable and start to make different love choices.
As I said I had been on both sides of a breakups and for me the more honest the conversation could be the better. Trying to find clarity in what can be utterly confusing. I found myself curled up on the floor more than once having to let go of a love that was in fact wrong for me. I built fantasy around what I wanted to be right. My painful heart held me hostage more than once.
I knew I wanted a strong partnership and could be a strong partner. Compromising was behind me and knowing what I wanted helped a great deal. I took stock in what worked and what did not. I had to look at my faults and insecure compromises.
Life and love are always a journey, healing may be part of that journey.
My Mantra: “Breakups feel alone in your heart; know you are worthy of love”