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“Take chances, make mistakes. That’s how you grow. Pain nourishes your courage. You have to fail in order to practice being brave.” Mary Tyler Moore
We put on different faces for different roles we sign up for.
Work, friends, spouse, family, dating, parenting, neighbors, the bedroom, you name it, a slightly different version of ourselves may appear. Many secrets hide out of site, what we don’t know, we don’t know, we cannot guess.
Recently I had a dear friend tell me she was faking it for most of her life. I knew what she meant and my heart broke for her.
However, all of us fake it mostly every day, but certainly at one time or another. For the sake of getting along or moving up the cooperate ladder, there we are with our plastered-on face.
How about on a first date? Putting our best foot forward is a social must. How much do we hide when we start to like someone?I have sat in front of countless meet-and-greet first dates. Accumulating more experience than I care to admit. Looking at myself often times my nerves were wracked as I tried to posture myself in the best light. Other times, I admit, if I knew I did not like the guy, I would tell him outlandish things. Putting on a bizarre face, that should scare off any normal human, often times eliciting a wry smile. If they dug crazy, they’d ask for a second date, uh no thank you.
Even with my best of friends I am sure that my response at times, reflected positive rather than my yelling thoughts (you’re officially a dumb-ass). There are times for brutal honesty but better served when solicited. Smiling friend face showed up.
The face that I put on has changed throughout the years. I have found myself very accepting of people I do not like, nor do they like me. I do not expect, or even want everyone to like me. I used to crave fitting in and everyone liking me, no more. I am grateful that I know who I want to spend time with. I know where I can be real, I have friends that accept me and I accept them.
Trying to hold up social perfection encouraged by social media may be too much pressure for some, it may be an outright downfall for others.
Questioning your own happiness, coupled with fear of missing out is a real thing. Putting your best face forward and painting on a glossy smile might end with the click of the photo.
Don’t be fooled, life is life for all, even the super pretty ones that try so hard for that just right look. What is behind their mask? That’s just it, you will never know.
Life beyond the photo, the castle walls, and the perfect outfit tells you nothing. Other than they might be trying a bit too hard to be accepted.
I say put on your most genuine self, get to know your most genuine self, like your most genuine self. That way you can be sure you are loved for you, not a pasted-on version upon presentation.
My Mantra: “It is normal to show up different, for people and situations. Be brave in being yourself”