“The cell phone has become the adult’s transitional object, replacing the toddler’s teddy bear for comfort and a sense of belonging.” Margaret Heffernan
A table full of adults out to a nice dinner. Seven people four phones are sitting on top of the table. In the course of the evening every person at that table, myself included, checked their phone for one reason or another. When did we lose sight of each other and become attentively addicted to our phones? Are we all looking for something via our phones that are outside of that moment?
In order to connect to our imagination, intuition, spirit, intimacy we need to be present. We miss more of life going on around us looking down than we do looking up.
Confessions of an obsessive cell phone user, I play solitaire. It calms me down. I play the game much more than checking emails, looking at photos, messages or social media.
Are phones changing who we are as humans and how we connect with one another? It seems alarmingly possible when you see young children glazed-eyed on their phones. An iPad in front of a toddler seems like a drug.
My mother carried crayons and paper in her purse for a toddler fussy at a table. She’s cool like that and the kids love to color. They created, much different then staring at someone else’s creation.
Sitting with a book outside this weekend felt amazing. My phone was away from me as I curled up on a bench in front of a gas fire pit. Fall is on the way and I took in life one page at a time. I lost track of time, because my phone is my time tracker. I felt a oneness with the massive oak tree that dirties up our front deck. The quiet without my phone felt like life before. Phone use, is it my own personal choice? Or is this what our now looks like looking down to read this blog?
Time for a Phone Diet! What would going on a phone diet look like? No phones when with friends, at dinner, walking the dog. No phones when writing or painting. No phones when reading. No phone when cooking. No phones on dates. No phones when kissing. I feel calmer already. Maybe I will find calm away from my crazy solitaire use?
Nothing is going to happen that is bad or scary just because I took a time out from my phone.
I need to get more in the moment to become present. I need to awaken myself to hear the inner voice that knows how to find calm, empathy, love, express, create, and communicate.I cannot do any of those things with my eyes on my phone, none, not one.
My Mantra: “ I find freedom in small personal choices”
Although I would like to say I am organized, focused and cookie-cutter, that simply would not be me. I am no different than any other woman in the world. I love to love, love hard, and, in the end, have learned to love myself above all else. So here I am, writing about the many men and the multiple purposes they have served in my life. Realizing that not one man on my roster had fulfilled every single one of my needs. Perhaps one man is not supposed to? I have compiled snippets of the men that have entered my world. In the end, they have shoved me towards my bathroom mirror, forcing me to take a better look at myself. Reflection is brilliant and the strongest guidepost into ourselves.
Working on the next book in the series “A House for Every Purpose, My Journey From Pillow to Pillow” revels a woman abandoning her home in search or her identity beyond men, motherhood, author.