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“The one thing that you have that nobody else has is you. Your voice, your mind, your story, your vision. So write and draw and build and play and dance and live as only you can.” Neil Gaiman
I did not grow up dreaming I would be a writer. I loved reading, but those were other people’s words. Those words interested me. What did they have to say? How did they feel? Can I imagine myself in their shoes?
I found myself writing when my feelings welled up inside of me. If I was upset, I crawled inside of myself, not to make a fuss. There was plenty of fuss going on around me, and I did not want to be that. Unfortunately, I never developed the skills to speak up for myself. I had much to say in my outgoing way but I had no real voice.
I never learned how to stand up for myself and state how I was feeling. My feelings building up in me sent me running to pad and paper and jotted down sad poems and lists why this person, or that thing was not working for me. I sat wide eyed in silence to the death of me, and for sure to the death of more than one relationship.
I started writing as a way to understand. I had not developed a verbal way to express myself. I wrote more and more. Mostly verbal vomit; a way to safely let go without fear of judgment. Judgment of them, judgment of myself.
Therein lies the irony. Now my words will be judged. I want my words to be judged! We all have words. My words my story is no different than anyone else’s.
Now I have a voice. I can and do state clearly what does not work for me. What I am happy with and what makes me feel upset. Without my voice it must have felt confusing to my loved ones as I silently disappeared. A shadow fading with no verbal explanation.
No more! I am loud and proud. My voice is that to share with those who are interested, or to those who can relate. Or to those I may be able to help or touch in a positive way. I am not different than you. I have been in love and I have seen great loves crumble before me. I have picked myself up and dusted off my boots. Life and love are meant to be a journey. For me this journey is meant to be shared.
Sometimes a messy one that is chalked full of lessons, heartache, and joy. My life now is stronger and I am surrounded by love ones. I am blessed to have found my voice. I am blessing to have written a book. I am blessed to have a writing coach and many others that are excited about this books launch.
Find your voice. Speak the truth with your feelings. Show respect for others and never get lost in the life around us that can show up as chaos.
My Mantra: “I am blessed to have found my voice. I’m blessed to share my story”