WHY I WAS INSPIRED TO WRITE A BOOK?

“Inspiration is a fickle lover willing to betray you. Only you can keep your dreams alive; they are yours and yours alone.” Katie L Lindley

Inspiration can hit you like a flock of birds unwelcome, but there it is, like a gift handed down from heaven, not knowing what to do.
That happened to me, an unwelcome inspiration to write a children’s book. Within a three-minute Beach Boys song (of all things!) I had an entire book downloaded into me; I cursed the heavens, “I’m not a writer.” Then I answered the story inside me and wrote it down raw and real; after all, the story was all there. All I had to do was follow orders.
I published my first book about love, dating, heartache, and finding myself through my relationships. I had moments where I wanted to stop. Why bother? Who cares? What is my motivation?

That being said, I wanted to quit. I wanted to stop and paint, garden, ride horses, and sulk. Sometimes I feel like I am not going forward despite trying. I may not be trying hard enough. Self-doubt creeps in, and that, in and of itself, can flatten me; I sink lower than the last time.
Do I give up that part of my soul, that part of my dreams? Are my dreams just selfish ambitions picking away at me daily? I question myself further. Then one person showed up and told me I had written a book about her for her. Now, she can read and understand that what she had been through was not so different. Okay, there it is, one reader, one woman, standing before me on State Street, Santa Barbara, my answer—the why of it all, the one person who needs my words.I am blessed that a sliver of hope showed up. However, as in life, it doesn’t always work that way. I remind myself of these things.

• What motivates me to move forward? Money, fame, fear of success, fear of failure, embarrassment? None of those reasons factor in; with me, as altruistic as it may sound, I want a voice honestly for myself as much as for others. I felt alone for years as a single dater. Trust me; you are not alone; dating and love are tricky. I want to reach that one person who needs my story.
• I set out to share lessons in life and my dating experiences that came to me hard. Those lessons have been transformed into a book strung with pearls of wisdom, there for the taking. I know we are all on our journey, but having resources can help us recognize moments when we need to wake up. It is time to wake up. We are alive now. We must be awake.
• I will be more, feel more, and push harder to understand myself as a woman beyond cultural limitations. Beyond self-imposed limitations. Oh yes, the women’s movement will always be moving forward. I am no different than any woman; I want to love, be seen, and have my words matter. We all matter; how we go about that is as different as the day.
What is standing in the way of your calling? I have wanted to hide for years, hide behind my words. Now, I am in front of the camera and must come out of my shell. It is awkward and uncomfortable, but allowing my dreams to die would be more tragic.

My Mantra: “Inspiration can birth challenges; I am blessed I woke up to my calling.”