“Don’t let people talk you into what they think is you.” Oprah Winfrey

What would happen if you slayed your own dragon, built your own white picket fence, and were financially independent?

Would men then become a passing fancy? No.

The white-knight-syndrome-story rushing in to save the girl in distress is feeling a little tired to me. The girl he saves is a mess and he is the man that will fix it. Then what? She’s all better, and the game is over?

Wait a minute… the attention she was getting had many benefits when she was, in fact, a wreck.

Now what?

This girl has two choices. One is to embrace her wellness and take the path of gratitude; hopefully, she can merge the new her with her rescuer. Or the second choice would be to muster up another breakdown that will get her guy all riled up and back on the fixing program. Not attractive, but not uncommon either.

The best way to attract a viable partner (if that is what you want) is to have yourself together. Deal with your past and leave it where it belongs. Know your strength, what you like, who you are, and what you are good at. Hold your power if someone doesn’t like that, then pass on them with efficient certainty.

I honestly don’t have time for that girl who is choosing to be the wounded vessel with her guy as a snappy savior. She has put herself in a loop with a rescuer guy that digs fixing things. She is a game player and is not interested in self-love, self-improvement, and growth. If she stays in her pattern, the chances of her emotionally growing up are slim. No one can fix her because she likes the deal; she’s figured out how to work the system. I get it; change can be scary, but if the familiar is an unattractive reflection of a low-esteem female with a non-supportive history, then get uncomfortable and go through what it takes to change. Find a new normal that includes you as an empowered you.

Empowered women are one of the sexiest things that walk the planet. Get real with who you are, and let that truth shine. If you are working towards your passion daily, it shows. If you believe in yourself, it shows. If you stand in your potential of self-love, again, it bubbles all around you.

That woman is not waiting for approval, she approves of herself, and that is that. She is not seeking false attention. If she has a broken day, and she will, she will get on it. She will find help, meditate, read, dive into her gratitude journal, get a massage, go for a walk, and call a supportive girlfriend. She will wake up the next day with most of her ennui behind her. If she needs help, she will ask for it; she is not “wonder woman,” but she is a wonderful woman.

What type of woman are you? Are you a girl that likes to be rescued, or are you your own fierce hero?

I hold no judgment as I have walked in the shoes of both. I now embrace vital lessons leaving behind the powerless woman that tried to fit into his world.

With that, I am free to stand alone or be cherished for exactly who I am.

My Mantra: “Being able to carry yourself, your dreams, and stand on your own is freeing”

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Katie L Lindley

Although I would like to say I am organized, focused and cookie-cutter, that simply would not be me. I am no different than any other woman in the world. I love to love, love hard, and, in the end, have learned to love myself above all else. So here I am, writing about the many men and the multiple purposes they have served in my life. Realizing that not one man on my roster had fulfilled every single one of my needs. Perhaps one man is not supposed to? I have compiled snippets of the men that have entered my world. In the end, they have shoved me towards my bathroom mirror, forcing me to take a better look at myself. Reflection is brilliant and the strongest guidepost into ourselves.

Working on the next book in the series “A House for Every Purpose, My Journey From Pillow to Pillow” revels a woman abandoning her home in search or her identity beyond men, motherhood, author.

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