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“My kids say if there’s any family dinner that doesn’t result in somebody crying, it’s not a good dinner. They cry because it helps relieve them of a guilt or some onerous emotional burden. It’s like a family tradition.”
Ho ho ho. It is that time of the year. To over spend, over stress, try to make everyone happy… whilst being well aware, along the way someone will be disappointed.
Feeling sick to my stomach that some of the family in attendance are less then desirable. It is always that way. No family is without some kind of cranky scrooge type. Bracing myself for what may go wrong will never serve me. Nor will stressing about gifts, shopping, and a picture perfect home.
When my kids were young I did my best to create magic. It was truly about seeing the sparkle in their innocent eyes. Now that they have grown everything has shifted. We all live in different towns. Some of our original list has fallen to the wayside as people come and go out of our lives.
Still a part of me wants to have that sparkle back. I know to avoid the crazy people that brings drama, so that’s out of the way. No crazy uncles sitting gassy in the corner with disgruntled stories that are painfully mind numbing.
I have been known to create high expectations that cause me to feel anxious. Setting myself up for impending failure. How can I shift from bah-humbug to fa-la-freaking-la?
Letting go of the past, it’s the past let go of it! Some of the things that really bugged me, that really hurt me… it is time to drop. That should be my new year’s resolution! Coming into the new year lighter, let go of bad memories I no longer need. I already feel lighter, sweet.
Sitting in front of a freshly cut Christmas tree I am starting to understand that tradition can be sweet. Even if it changes.This may be a celebrated year after all. I may have found my sparkle!
My Mantra: “I can be Okay with how the holidays unfold. I can let go of hard things from my past.”