“The opinion which other people have of you is their problem, not yours.” Elisabeth Kubler-Ross
It is simple and accurate. Doing your best in life and having others that don’t like you, jealous, backbiting, or resentful, that is on them, not you. Standing in yourself and not getting caught up in the game of others can be powerful.
That said, I just handed my ninety-seven-year-old dad the finished unedited version of book two, “A House for Every Purpose, My Journey from Pillow to Pillow.” I waited like a kid handing over an art project from first grade, seeking his approval. I know how lame that sounds, but dad is a reader, and I am a writer. He loved my book and told me I was “clever for taking on the subject.”
I was happy to hear it, yet at the same time, I refused to hold my breath or care about other people’s opinions about my books, my art, or me. Even my dad’s opinion, I should be able to stand back. This is my life. His life looks much different.
I have had people look at me and form impressions of me for being tall, blonde, and big-boobed; I am no different from anyone else, and people judge. The trick is not to care; that is indeed the ultimate in freedom and can release all creative avenues to flow.
The second equation for me is to distance myself from negative people. Friends and loved ones that can lift you and hold to the positive I am more attracted to. My time in life and how I spend it takes priority. Is selfish? I do not care. This is my time and my life.
Don Miguel Ruiz, who wrote “The Four Agreements,” states that we are all in our “own” world, and no one can nor will understand the other’s perspective. The ultimate in empathy should help us to realize that what people think of us is none of our business.
I was a single mom for years and cared deeply about what other people thought of me. I was busy and did not feel as if I fit into what seemed like a married world around me. I kept my head down and forged forward into the endless list of motherhood. Maybe who we are is most important to us? A lesson that took me years to understand.
It is folly trying to justify yourself to anyone. Why is it important to you to do so? Life is hard enough. Don’t try to cram your fabulous self onto another.
Pushing forward in your world is the most brilliant. Being the best version of what and who you can be.
Accolades and critique hold less importance if you are seeing to yourself.
My Mantra: “Release judgment of others, especially yourself.”
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