“You must break yourself down to rebuild yourself stronger.” Tulisa

Behold, nothing looks like it was supposed to, an unwelcome occurrence. You can go through the remodeling process and grab your lesson or return to the same deal until you do. What fell upon you could be death, divorce, loss of job, moving, illness, you name it. Significant changes can cause some major shaking…down to the bones.

Oh, why can’t it be easy? It is not supposed to. Change to the unfamiliar is uncomfortable, but we are choosing healthy shift this time, right?

It is easy to blame; it is easy to distract; it is easy to avoid; it is easy to self-medicate. However, those behaviors will not lead to the shift that will assist you into a well…a better you.

Lest we forget, it is your life, not someone else’s. You can choose the steps you will take regarding this reconstruction! Yes, you can be the architect and designer of your remodeling process.

Here are some tips that can help you find your new normal.

Figure out a way to accept your new normal. This is an inside job; you must start with your thoughts first. Eliminate being hard on yourself, which will never serve you. Catch your negative thoughts and rewrite today’s possibilities.
Yesterday is gone but serves as a road map; let history guide you, a reminder to not repeat what was wrong for you.

Know what makes you happy and tend to your needs even for 15 minutes daily. Write down every day what life can bring you and what brings you joy. It could be silly, like going on Safari, or simple, like walking in the woods.

Give yourself time. Time does not heal all wounds, but you can do the work to find healing within the time. This may be the most challenging part, but it is doable. Dig into books on healing, podcasts, therapy, and maybe a trusted friend. Know that life’s major shifts can be challenging, but if the battle of change is universal, and it is, you are not alone. You cannot always see it, but people around you struggle with forced adjustments. We can gain the most personal growth in unwelcome change, a springboard to launch you in a better direction.

I have found personally the difficulties of change. I have had many unwelcome events in my life that led me to the curled-up-on-the-floor fetal position. I wanted desperately to change the outcome, but alas, that was not in my cards. It may sound trite or cliche, but I am better off for the changes I was forced to undergo. I learned painfully to grab the lessons that were meant for me. I looked hard at my culpability; I forgave myself and, with that, turned a corner. Then I attracted better into my life because I knew damn well; I now deserved it—no more gut-wrenching compromises.
My Mantra: “As in construction, sometimes you need to tear down walls.”

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Katie L Lindley

Although I would like to say I am organized, focused and cookie-cutter, that simply would not be me. I am no different than any other woman in the world. I love to love, love hard, and, in the end, have learned to love myself above all else. So here I am, writing about the many men and the multiple purposes they have served in my life. Realizing that not one man on my roster had fulfilled every single one of my needs. Perhaps one man is not supposed to? I have compiled snippets of the men that have entered my world. In the end, they have shoved me towards my bathroom mirror, forcing me to take a better look at myself. Reflection is brilliant and the strongest guidepost into ourselves.

Working on the next book in the series “A House for Every Purpose, My Journey From Pillow to Pillow” revels a woman abandoning her home in search or her identity beyond men, motherhood, author.

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