“Sometimes I pretend to be normal, but it gets boring. So I go back to being me.” Truman Capote


If the only thing we can count on in life is change then why can change seem so hard?

The town meeting of Santa Barbara said we have to get used to a “new normal”. That it will be years before what we once knew will return to us. The fires and mudslides took a toll on our normal, on our routine, on our hearts. Our sweet day to day looks different now. It is a commute on the Amtrak train to bring us to “the other side”. We are a town divided by the deadly Montecito mudslides and the closure of the 101 freeway.

But our hearts are not divided as we celebrate love, life, and healing that is all around us. We still come together and with now with hearts that knows pain and want to heal.

We were blessed to attend a party celebrating a new marriage, happiness, joy and dancing. Our normal last night was celebrated bliss. Love was in the air and for that moment that was our normal. Mudslides are not going to take away the love connections we make and celebrate. Cheers to love, cheers to Mr. and Mrs. Miller, and all the hearts filled with well-earned hope. Love is contagious.

As we get on a train to travel ten miles it is humbling. We are all on the same boat, or train as it was. All of our lives look a little bit different now. Amtrak added two thousand seats to accommodate our plight. However, many commutes are jammed packed standing room only. Looking out to our muddy reality of our oceans and streets that is our saddened normal today. Not being able to return home is humbling. Adjusting with grace is what we are doing.

 Change shows up for everyone. Whether it is the loss of a loved one, pet, parent or home. Change is what happens. I think that it is in those times we can grow, learn a bit about ourselves expand our capacity for compassion. We are not alone in our changes.

I have had many relationships come and go out of my life. I thought at one point I would be married to the very same man I fell in love with as a young woman. That was not to be the case as I struggled though many changes that were not welcomed at the time. I grew up, I had to. I still feel the impact of change; I think we all do. We cannot predict changes in our lives, but we can be certain, they will arrive!


My Mantra: “I can adjust to the changes life brings me. Life is on my side”

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Katie L Lindley

Although I would like to say I am organized, focused and cookie-cutter, that simply would not be me. I am no different than any other woman in the world. I love to love, love hard, and, in the end, have learned to love myself above all else. So here I am, writing about the many men and the multiple purposes they have served in my life. Realizing that not one man on my roster had fulfilled every single one of my needs. Perhaps one man is not supposed to? I have compiled snippets of the men that have entered my world. In the end, they have shoved me towards my bathroom mirror, forcing me to take a better look at myself. Reflection is brilliant and the strongest guidepost into ourselves.

Working on the next book in the series “A House for Every Purpose, My Journey From Pillow to Pillow” revels a woman abandoning her home in search or her identity beyond men, motherhood, author.

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