“Inspiration is a fickle lover willing to betray you. Only you can keep your dreams alive; they are yours and yours alone.” Katie L Lindley
Inspiration can hit you like a flock of birds unwelcome, but there it is. Like a gift handed down from heaven, not knowing what to do with it?
That happened to me, an unwelcome inspiration to write a children’s book. Within a three-minute song, I had a book downloaded into me; I cursed the heavens, “I’m not a writer.” Then I wrote it down raw and real; after all, the story was all there. All I had to do was follow orders.
I published my first book about love, dating, heartache, and finding myself through my relationships. I had moments where I wanted to stop. Why bother? Who cares? What is my motivation?
That being said, I want to quit; I want to stop and just paint, garden, ride horses, and sulk. There are times that I feel like I am not going forward even though I am trying. Maybe I am not trying hard enough? Self-doubt creeps in, and that in and of itself can flatten me; I sink down lower than the last time. Do I give up that part of my soul, my dreams?
Then one person shows up and tells me I wrote the book for her, about her, now she can read and understand what she had been through was not so different. That is why I write for the one person that needs my words.
I am blessed that a sliver of hope showed up, when it doesn’t, I remind myself of these three things.
- What is the motivating factor to keep me moving forward? Money, fame, fear of success, fear of failure, embarrassment? None of those reasons factor in; with me, as altruistic as it may sound, I want a voice so others do not feel alone as I did for years as a single and dating. Trust me; you are not alone; dating and love are tricky. I want to reach that one person who needs my story.
- I set out to share lessons in life and my dating experiences that came to me hard. Those lessons and pearls of wisdom are there for the taking. I know we are all on our own journey, but having resources can and does help us recognize moments we need to wake up to. It is time to wake up. We are alive now. We must be awake.
- I will be more, feel more, and push harder to understand myself as a woman beyond cultural limitations. Beyond self-imposed limitations. Oh yes, the woman’s movement will always be moving forward. I am no different than any woman; I want to love, be seen and have my words matter. We all matter, and how we go about that is as different as the day.
What is standing in the way of your calling? I have wanted to hide for years, hid behind my words. Now I am in front of the camera, and I must come out of my shell. It is awkward and uncomfortable, but I let my dreams die would be more tragic.
My Mantra: “Make a plan and check off one thing a day.”
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