50 PLUS DATING, 3 GOLDEN RULES TO LIVE BY

“I may be a senior, but so what? I’m still hot.” Betty White

It is time. You have been around the block, raised your kids, and are now single, divorced, or widowed, available to meet someone. Oh, how dating has changed.

It may feel nervous or awkward; the last time you ‘dated’ was years ago, and there was so much to choose from. The dating pool has shrunk tremendously, and it feels like there are fewer options because there are. In a way, it seems so much more complicated: online dating, friends with single friends, next-door neighbors knocking at your door with a casserole—yep, they are now looking at you sideways.

A love die-hard, you know you are partner-worthy, so you dip your toe into the dating pool. Yikes.

Honestly, it really can be less complicated. Remember these rules.

1) No games, I mean none. Be you; let that be your calling card. Honestly, the way you are at this point has less wriggle room for change. Know that you cannot change anyone else, so it is best just to know yourself and be yourself. If you are interested, go for it. Do not wait for any three-day call-back rule. Time is of the essence. That being said, do not ‘Love Bomb’; do not think they are something they are not; love projection will not serve either of you, so stop. Let time together reveal who they are. If you like them, be available to spend time together.

2) Be interested in them. At this point, life has happened. Do not try to shine and throw your stories at them; be yourself strong in the shadows. If there is a click between you, trust who you are. Set aside first-date jitters and let things evolve. Get to know them by asking questions about them and what they do for fun, travel, and family time.

3) Be picky about who you are naked with. If you go too fast too soon, every guy, I mean every guy, thinks that you are loose and fast with all men. Unless you want to be that slutty girl, don’t. Guys like a chase; they are hunters. Make sure they are the ones you want to be with when you decide to get naked. Have a conversation before, and make sure you are exclusive. Be a one dick chick. Again, life is short. Don’t waste a bikini wax on an older player; trust me, people come in all different packages. Know what you are signing up for before you dive into the sheets.

Later-daters have more baggage. It is life, and baggage is a part of it. If you really like someone, you will have the patience to unpack what you need to and accept what your new potential love has been through. It is not what has happened but how it is handled. The exception to this rule is if they have repeatedly dated the same “crazy situation.” It is necessary to note that they are the common denominator, eyes wide open.

Most of all, know what you want, what you can bring to the table, and what you envision your future to be. There could be illness, injuries, or loss of parents; life happens, and the older you get, the more it accelerates. If you want a partner to see you through, pay attention to the truth of who they are. I hear (a nurse with a purse) joke right about now, but the truth is you are ready for someone who has figured out life. Not living paycheck to paycheck, and you also want someone who can be soft enough to take care of you and strong enough to stand in the trenches with you. Tall order? Not so much if you are ready.

Like attracts like, do the inner work, and the outside will shine at every age.

My husband and I met when we were in our 50’s. We had both been around many blocks. We became friends and then, with a solid foundation, decided we wanted something more.

My Mantra: “A solid foundation; I am married to my best friend.”