“Nothing takes the taste out of peanut butter quite like unrequited love.”

Charles M. Schulz

Let’s get real with a couple of things that guys do.

If he says he is going to call and doesn’t, don’t call him. A classic mistake running after a guy.

He may be playing the field and if that’s the case the hunter is always looking for harder to get, elusive, wanted by others. A female that is chasing down a guy coming up with clever (dumb) text ideas and ‘running into him’, has already lost. Desperate is not pretty on anyone. He may sleep with miss available but it is a temporary fix.

A guy you organically meet and he gives you his number and doesn’t get yours, again forget it. You need to be worth his time and effort. Pass on call me guy, gross. He figures if you chase after him you’re an easy catch.

Does he check his phone during your time together? If he really likes you he won’t do that. Ask yourself is he with you, or checking on the next online dating possibility?

Does he sleep with you and then leave? If guys are really into you they will not rush out.

 If he wants to stay with you guess what? He may like you. Guys that like you give you their time, focus, and show their best self at the beginning.

It that happening? If it is not, then he probably isn’t interest. Trying to win over a guy is useless, not only does it not work but worse; it tears apart your esteem therefore making you less attractive.

Guys that are not really into you will make every effort to try to keep it casual, while their dragging you along. Know that you may hear many a sweet word from these lover boys. They may be talking to some other girl with ‘baby’ and ‘honey’. Try not to fall into the slick tongue devil trap. I have fallen prey to smooth talkers, dreadful. When they are not with you they are chasing, sweet talking, or dragging along other tail.

If you are not a casual kind of a girl, then don’t be. Tell the guy no sex until you are sure you really like him. Wording it that way is brilliant. It makes it personal about him and he knows you don’t fly into bed with every dude. If he wants to win you into bed he will try and that will give you some time to see how you feel about him. Setting your standards is a matter of knowing what they are. Chose standards that make you feel empowered, good about yourself, and worthy of a genuine person.

Some guys may respect your honesty, the skirt-chasers head off to the more willing skirt. Again bye-bye. The only thing that guy can offer is a STD and heartbreak. Nothing worse than sleeping with a great skilled lover only to find out he is practicing his skills all over town.

Unrequited love may in fact be one of the most painful loves to have. It is a one-way story in your mind, your obsessive love interest may or may not be feeding you the truth. That one sided love will never love you back. Stop and know you are love worthy.

If he is not, do not make excuses why, if  he is inconsistent, and not mono focused on you, know that you can make excuses for that guy all day long but at the end of the day he’s not next to you because doesn’t want to be.

We teach people how to treat us set your standards where you’re not crying to your girlfriends. Stop with guys who don’t like you.

Finally, if he is into you will know it! It will be obvious.

My Mantra: “Wishing you lessons in love”

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Katie L Lindley

Although I would like to say I am organized, focused and cookie-cutter, that simply would not be me. I am no different than any other woman in the world. I love to love, love hard, and, in the end, have learned to love myself above all else. So here I am, writing about the many men and the multiple purposes they have served in my life. Realizing that not one man on my roster had fulfilled every single one of my needs. Perhaps one man is not supposed to? I have compiled snippets of the men that have entered my world. In the end, they have shoved me towards my bathroom mirror, forcing me to take a better look at myself. Reflection is brilliant and the strongest guidepost into ourselves.

Working on the next book in the series “A House for Every Purpose, My Journey From Pillow to Pillow” revels a woman abandoning her home in search or her identity beyond men, motherhood, author.

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