“I was too old for a paper route, too young for Social Security and too tired for an affair.” Erma Bombeck

Wife number one. Both she and her husband worked outside the home. Her husband was away on business most of the time. He was honestly trying to support his family in a big way. She had men pick up on her often and paid little attention to them. Then there was the one. He came in close and held eye contact, as simple as that. She would meet him in a hotel in a different town, showing up in nothing but her mink coat. This passionate affair lasted for a couple of months before she ended it. The experience made her realize how good she had it with her husband. She had no regrets, as she found a way to strengthen her marriage. She began telling her husband what she needed from him. That did the trick, as he adored her. He never knew about her infidelity.

Wife number two. She was the breadwinner. Her husband had retired, and she worked in a male-centric industry. After many years of unhappiness with her husband, she began an affair with a man she met years before. He was single, and they had great passion. They would meet for long lunches. He fell in love with her and wanted her to leave her husband. It took her nearly a year to end the affair. She then worked hard at seeking happiness within herself and then her marriage. They have been married for fifty years; her husband never found out. She has no regrets; her choice to love another man brought her back to the center of loving herself.

Wife number three. The moment she met her neighbor, she knew. There was something between them. They lived two houses away in a suburban neighborhood. They were both married and raising families. They got together once in a madly passionate moment and decided it would be too devastating for the families to continue. They remained friendly as neighbors, socializing with each other as couples. A decade later, he died of an unexpected heart attack. Every year, on the day of his death, her heart wants to fail. Her husband has taken her to the hospital several times, and the doctors could find nothing wrong with her. She now spends that day alone, away from her town and home. The great love is the one she stayed with and raised her family with. Her neighbor, who held her heart and will always do so. She visits the cemetery alone, which brings her solace.

Some interesting facts.

Women cheat at about the same rate as men, but it is talked about less often. Sex is usually never the reason for cheating. It is generally about wanting to be loved, seen, and acknowledged differently. To be understood as something other than mother, caregiver, or wife, feeling unloved, hurt, or alone. Affairs are often a painkiller in an attempt to not deal with the real issues.
Affairs do not have to be the end of a marriage.

The marital environment can change when self-worth and self-esteem can be found within.

All three examples of wives cheating on their husbands remained private; it was never about the sex. All of them stayed within their marriage to find that they ultimately found what they needed.
My Mantra: “Love and sex, sex and love, so different.”


Don’t give up on love. #love #dating #sex #dating advice #a man for every purpose

♬ Storytelling – Adriel

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Katie L Lindley

Although I would like to say I am organized, focused and cookie-cutter, that simply would not be me. I am no different than any other woman in the world. I love to love, love hard, and, in the end, have learned to love myself above all else. So here I am, writing about the many men and the multiple purposes they have served in my life. Realizing that not one man on my roster had fulfilled every single one of my needs. Perhaps one man is not supposed to? I have compiled snippets of the men that have entered my world. In the end, they have shoved me towards my bathroom mirror, forcing me to take a better look at myself. Reflection is brilliant and the strongest guidepost into ourselves.

Working on the next book in the series “A House for Every Purpose, My Journey From Pillow to Pillow” revels a woman abandoning her home in search or her identity beyond men, motherhood, author.

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