“I think every girl’s dream is to find a bad boy at the right time, when he wants to not be bad anymore.” Taylor Swift

Some sort of right of passage deciding to mix it up with a bad boy or a grown man who has bad boy syndrome. They are both the same dude despite their age. It is likely they are narcists, but that’s another blog. Anyhoo, somehow, when you are with this guy, you feel a wee bit edgy; the excitement wins over the red flags. By the way, he is an excellent lover, duh. You just buckled into the fast ride, but wait.

He is fun and goes against your rules, but no, never mind, you have found yourself on the bad boy ride. He has a sexy grin and knows it. That grin has got him into and out of trouble since he was 13. Well, honestly, he was 5, and he knew his charms then.

Every woman has had a friend who dated a guy who was clearly bad news, but she just couldn’t resist. Maybe that “friend” was you. And yet, despite all the warnings, the pull of dating a “bad boy” was just too enticing.

Weak in the knees, you want to do anything in your feminine powers to change him and make him yours. Lofty ideas that you can rehabilitate this unicorn man and have him in your ordinary world as yours. Let the fantasy begin.

Hormones are cruel liars, so if you spend time with a bad boy, give yourself a reasonable exit and be real with who he is. There is no taming this wild pony, and if he were tamed, he wouldn’t be the same; he wouldn’t look the same. Face it, you like him because he will never change.

It may not be politically correct to admit it, but these brooding, macho men can be compellingly dreamy with their downright seductive swagger. I did not need to turn to experts to find out why this allure is capable of taking over our rational thoughts.
I have found myself mindlessly with a bad boy or two. A naked mess, trying to make the bad boy into something that would actually work. I wrote about this dude in my book where I was trying to figure out myself through love and men. Utter folly, but you need to read the book to get the gritty details.

BAD BOY:

Hypermasculine, oozing sexual confidence, bold, brassy, and emotionally unavailable. He stands there with red flags swirling around him, dumbstruck as you only see the Oh goodie! These men are a low-calorie content treat that many women at some point want to snack on.
“Bad boys” allow us girls to rid ourselves of being good girls and try out our bad selves. This is our life moment to rebel. After all, we girls are socially trained to get in line, stay in line, and be compliant. Take care of the family and sacrifice; yes, we must come last even if the plane is plummeting. There may be a point in time when you want to break those ideals and step out to try a different self.
If one’s life is unexpressed, being drawn to a bad boy is a way of vicariously getting in touch with your own inner rebel. Trust me, I am not judging. Like a phase or a class, you must pass to move beyond into a real partnership you deserve. In a nutshell, we are attracted to qualities that we wish we had. Admiring the freedom, the nonchalant, cavalier attitude of the bad boy, the risk seems to make sense at the moment.

Do not judge yourself or others visiting this phase. Make notes, enjoy the ride, and be clear: it is not love. Learn your lesson. This guy is a one-shot deal. If you continue to chase after this type, stop and evaluate yourself.

There are ways to gain self-esteem, and this dude will provide none; he simply can’t. This bad boy is the opposite of an esteem builder; he will tear you down, and you won’t even know it. Visit, but do not stay in this fairy tale land; you’ve been warned.
My Mantra: “This guy is sexy, but when we are done, we know better.”

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Katie L Lindley

Although I would like to say I am organized, focused and cookie-cutter, that simply would not be me. I am no different than any other woman in the world. I love to love, love hard, and, in the end, have learned to love myself above all else. So here I am, writing about the many men and the multiple purposes they have served in my life. Realizing that not one man on my roster had fulfilled every single one of my needs. Perhaps one man is not supposed to? I have compiled snippets of the men that have entered my world. In the end, they have shoved me towards my bathroom mirror, forcing me to take a better look at myself. Reflection is brilliant and the strongest guidepost into ourselves.

Working on the next book in the series “A House for Every Purpose, My Journey From Pillow to Pillow” revels a woman abandoning her home in search or her identity beyond men, motherhood, author.

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