“The final test of a gentleman is his respect for those who can be of no possible service to him.” William Lyon Phelps


How devastating to walk into your own home to surprise your husband and his new fling messing up your sheets? She was crushed. He was the man that she had loved since college. They had two beautiful children. There he was in the middle of the day in the middle of her legs. She went into shock, eventually sought out a divorce attorney. Her life was a terrible fate as the secretary, and her husband had an affair.

Blurred-eyed weeks later, she was at a coffee shop wanting to warm the cold she felt inside when she dropped her purse and her things scattered on the tiled floor. The man behind her graciously helped her gather her things. He was kind and gentle. They ordered and went their separate ways. After a week had gone by, in the same coffee shop, there he was, “hello,” he had her right then. They drank their coffee together, two hours later, they decided to date.

He, too, had been betrayed; he was kind, very successful, and drawn to the purse dropper. Their lives together and the marriage lasted thirty years until cancer stole him away from her. Almost every day of their lives together was filled with gratitude. They had been through relationships that tore at them and beat them down. With their union, it was joy and respect that included building one another up.

In the iconic series, “Sex and The City”, Carrie Bradshaw dropped her purse that had many items in it including condoms. Introducing “Mr. Big” who graciously with a glimmer in his eye helped her to pick up her things. That was their first encounter.

Sometimes when a gentleman is kind and puts your awkward, embarrassing moment ahead of himself, you may have a winner. There are many tell-tell signs that you have a good guy. It is essential to keep your eyes open and consider how he behaves. How does he talk about his ex? His boss? His family/mother? A man that loves his mother and reserves putting people down is a man of character. Depending on what you are looking for, quality traits can last a lifetime.

Where are they now?

The cheating husband never remarried. He is still bouncing from woman to woman. His secretary turned out to be a fling; she never settled down, her standard for lovers includes but is not limited to married men. The love of her life turned out to be not only funny and kind but financially secure. Even though she is now a widow, she surrounds herself with family, and she will never have to worry about a roof over her head.

My Mantra: “Love can be where you are if you have eyes to see and a heart that is soft.”

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Katie L Lindley

Although I would like to say I am organized, focused and cookie-cutter, that simply would not be me. I am no different than any other woman in the world. I love to love, love hard, and, in the end, have learned to love myself above all else. So here I am, writing about the many men and the multiple purposes they have served in my life. Realizing that not one man on my roster had fulfilled every single one of my needs. Perhaps one man is not supposed to? I have compiled snippets of the men that have entered my world. In the end, they have shoved me towards my bathroom mirror, forcing me to take a better look at myself. Reflection is brilliant and the strongest guidepost into ourselves.

Working on the next book in the series “A House for Every Purpose, My Journey From Pillow to Pillow” revels a woman abandoning her home in search or her identity beyond men, motherhood, author.

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