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Women are like cars: we all want a Ferrari, sometimes want a pickup truck, and end up with a station wagon.
Tim Allen

I am grateful that I have a multitude of loving male friends in my world. I can speak openly to them, and it seems as if they can reveal their love troubles to me as well.

A friend of mine who has just gotten divorced, the paperwork is all in order, but the definition of their journey is not. They still date and have some of the physical passion they once knew. An ex with benefits, I’m not going to judge, no way. I have traveled that road without a passport having to clip tricky fences, landing right where I should no longer be.

This friend of mine has a cool pad at the beach, we were taking a much needed bike ride cursing the boardwalk adjacent to the sand and surf; he then offered me some dating advice. He said, “all guys are going to think you’re in it for a hook up, because that is what all guys think”, forewarning me like a dutiful brother.

I was griping to him about moving to a new town, and well feeling lonely. I described my new tiny pad and he said “whatever you do get a huge TV” He was so adamant about this it never occurred to me to ask why… I just imagined a man coming into my humble space and being able to “breathe” if in fact I had a big TV. Is that what mattered to my future man the size of my TV? Does it all boil down to the big screen to allure a good man? In the nineties it used to be big breasts, my how things have changed. As with some things concerning men it left me a tad perplexed.

Girls think so much differently this I know. After sex in the beginning, guys are thinking…. “When can I go…”? And girls are thinking. “Where is this going”….? How is it those two people can find a middle ground? Maybe it’s the size of the TV?

No matter how many changes occur between the sexes the differences are still ever present. The mystery of love; the beauty of dating, the man the woman, the dance, the chase. For me, I seem to be the new kid in town. Trying to navigate the streets and the social scene. I am well aware that it will all somehow be how it is meant to be. I will consider the big TV; I mean that can’t hurt right? In the meantime, I will give it my best shot dolling up my tiny pad. Try to see how I fit into my new world. After all, this is the first time in my life I have lived alone. I hear from others, in the process of growing up, and self-awareness, this is a vital step.

My Mantra “I love and accept myself through these life changes” “I am blessed to have loving friends”