“My marriage is on the rocks again, yeah, my wife just broke up with her boyfriend.” Rodney Dangerfield
There are times you may never find the words; that may be the time to write them down and burn them. Separation can be confusing, painful, and wrought with emotions you may never feel safe sharing. Write it, understand your part, and release it. Your past does not hold you; It guides you.
“I wish I had the voice to fight harder for our marriage. I regret that my heart hardened, and I became bitter. You never told me about the affair, and that crippled me. We never talked about it; we never had closure, which confused me. You were my best friend; then you were someone else’s. I remained hobbled for a long time as I had my hands full with our children. I thought I could replace you; that was a lame thought. It took me years, but I now have a voice and am free from all the foils that once had a foothold on me.”
“I was afraid to break it off with you. I did not have the words or courage to stand up to you. At the end of our relationship, I became a shadow of myself I did not recognize. My anger is not towards you; you came the way you were. I allowed myself to become small, voiceless, and belittled. I now am powerful, I wear a crown, and no one dares put me in my place because I know my place; my feet are planted. I am sorry I could not cut it off the first time you disrespected me. I knew love in our abusive relationship. Now I know a greater love, self-respect”.
“I love you very much; you are a good man, father, and husband. I had to leave after our children went to college. I wanted to tell you that I never dared to be in love with someone else. I have been in love with him for many years. It is a love that supports who I am beyond what I thought you could see. It is a love so powerful that we wake up with our heads on one pillow. It was hard to leave you, but I needed to set the rest of my life in the freedom of spirit; I had to be selfish. I hope you find love; one day, we will be grandparents together, and one day, you will come to know the other man holding my heart.”
“I ghosted you. I did not take the time or words to explain why I was done. I easily assumed you would have tried to argue me out of leaving. Leaving was the best thing I did; not telling you why I had to leave could have been better. I don’t worry about you, nor wish you ill; I have parted from you in my heart, goodbye”.
“I am still so mad my words get tangled up in my head. The connection I had with you was sick, and now we are co-parenting. We are not in agreement with anything. Our son has said you have bad-mouthed me and have a new girlfriend. As much as I don’t like you, I would never talk crap about you to our son. I hope one day you can do the same. Please try to be a good dad; that matters. I know I still have work to do to process our realities and find balance. I hope I can soon see gratitude because our son is a wonderful blessing”.
My Mantra: “Having a voice is vital in all aspects of life and love.”
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