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“I ain’t ‘fraid of no ghost”, Ray Parker Jr “Ghostbuster”
Beware the cowards, the bullies, the sissy, the lily-livers, the meek at self. They are the ones who will ditch you without a word, lame.
Ghosting, nothing new, just a trendy term for vanishing without explanation. Leaving a relationship without explanation is hard on the one left with the why’s. The ghost is too afraid to speak their truth, to have a voice that is real. They are the ones that need to find words. Need to finds compassion for the other person. They vanish into the dark, alone. Lame is a perfect word because it describes limping or broken.
My friend his wife ghosted him all the way to divorce. The closer never showed up as his wife packed up for a time out never to take another call or text, months later she sent him divorce papers. He is a good guy, that never held her accountable for her incredulous behavior. A year later after the divorce, she reached out. From a friend’s perspective, I felt they were not finished, there was no closure, she ducked out the back door without a word.
Yes, I have had my moments in relationships that my words were lost in fear. I share this in my book “A Man for Every Purpose, My Naked Journey Searching for Love”. I was once with a powerful man that I became a meek version of myself, awful. I creeped out of our entanglement like a wild cat in the jungle one still step at a time. I had to get away as pounding fear ran through me. I did but I was not proud of my exit by any means. I learned to find my voice I became brave. Never again would I hold back who I was or what was important to me I became fearless one stealth step at a time becoming impowered.
I knew a girl that met a guy for a dinner date she met online. She left to go the bathroom and headed to her car blocking his number. Poor form, she should have been more forthright to him unless she was honestly afraid of the man she chose to meet.
There are many forms of ghosting’s friends included. I think if it is possible and you can have a kind but honest conversation it should happen. You have your boundaries you spend time with whom you chose. Just have the guts to be real about taking your time and self in another direction. People grow apart, people find themselves at different rates, what once worked for you may not any longer. Be real, be authentic, know yourself and if you’ve been ghosted feel sorry for the block that did not have the words to exit properly.
Ghosting simply is someone who does not know how to effectively communicate. Communication is a cornerstone of all relationships. To be able to express oneself honestly.
If you use ghosting to not deal with something, consider finding your voice.
Empowered women learn how to speak their truth. It is time for being authentic. It is time for voicing oneself. Let us all put behind us the days we were too embarrassed, afraid, ashamed to speak up. Let’s find our voice, speaking up can and will make a difference.
We can all do better than ghosting someone.
My Mantra: “Knowing you deserve to speak your truth can set you free”