“I’ve been dating since I was fifteen. I’m exhausted. Where is he?” Kristin Davis

 

 

Divorce, death, end of partnership, many reason’s may begin your search. No matter what your age is, dating often times is the traditional beginning of falling in love.

Common human plight is to find that one special mate, to be loved for who you are.

Leading trends in dating merely name bad behaviors in a new way. Such as ghosting, disappearing without a word. I called that cowardice, now it is coined. There are many dating trends, by the way, none of these bad dating manners are new. Benching, breadcrumb and more, lack of communication leaving the other one clueless, again rude. Stringing someone along is an oldie but goodie, not kind, be real. If you decide to put someone on the ‘back-burner’ have the balls to tell them.

Even though basic human behaviors have not changed, the dating menu certainly has. Online dating has opened up everything!

Now you can hire a matchmaker, date online, and swipe right. It is raining possibilities, with that, take heed and stay open. Being overwhelmed with too many choices, like a kid in the candy store, one can trip up. I understand I have been there.

In addition to all the choices, your own personal patterns need to be addressed.

A friend of mine has told me he dated a series of ‘Psycho Bitch’s’. Now let’s be clear about that, there are all kinds of people out there. He attracted and accepted that type of gal, time and time again. It was not until he did his work to change himself that he found the right one, go him.

How can you break through from non-effective dating patterns?

If your end game is love… I believe you can find, have, and hold onto that. Love is not an impossible order; it is a matter of the heart. No need to compromise. Time to do homework!

How does one date smart?

Look at your dating history. You were the common denominator, in your relationships, what worked, where did it break, what did you like, love, dislike? Write down all your history and see if something pops. Did you find a pattern? Where did that come from, and what would you like to change? Doing inside work will help you understand yourself and what you can bring to a partnership and what you require. Certain standards are set and often reflect our human history.

How are your boundaries? Accept, reject, but do not tolerate.

  Do not be a broken record to your friends complaining about the same thing over and over.

Be worth it, know your worth, if you are valuable, then you will be valued.

Lastly, I will soon be offering individual confidential dating advise via this website. If you want tips, guidance, vent, or are serious about changing your non-effective dating patterns, I may be able to help. Helping you to clear the way to love, that is what I am here for. In the meantime, you may reach me through this website.

My Mantra: “The smallest change can result in the largest outcome”

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Katie L Lindley

Although I would like to say I am organized, focused and cookie-cutter, that simply would not be me. I am no different than any other woman in the world. I love to love, love hard, and, in the end, have learned to love myself above all else. So here I am, writing about the many men and the multiple purposes they have served in my life. Realizing that not one man on my roster had fulfilled every single one of my needs. Perhaps one man is not supposed to? I have compiled snippets of the men that have entered my world. In the end, they have shoved me towards my bathroom mirror, forcing me to take a better look at myself. Reflection is brilliant and the strongest guidepost into ourselves.

Working on the next book in the series “A House for Every Purpose, My Journey From Pillow to Pillow” revels a woman abandoning her home in search or her identity beyond men, motherhood, author.

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