“A true heiress is never mean to anyone – except a girl who steals your boyfriend.” Paris Hilton

There are no absolutes in finding and nailing down the right partner. However, there are guidelines that can pull in or push away from a good match.

Too much too soon. I’ve known guys on the first date promise me the moon, trips to Europe, over the top suggestions. The second date with over-the-top dude never took place. If on the first date you are naming your future children and picking your wedding date, staring longingly into your Pinterest wedding account, chances are you have rightfully scared off a normal dude.

Getting to know a new person is pivotal; fun, full of ideas, conversation, and a dash of flirting. Simple but the basics hold true.

I believe that most men have a natural drive to hunt. Therefore, the slightly out of reach girl may be more appealing.

Even though you may run from too eager dude, give the decent guys a second or third date. The first date may be wracked with honest nerves, intercepting your impression. Your gut instant is always the best, however by the third date you should know if want to continue with that guy or not.

Complaints about your ex, or his ex should not factor into the beginning part of courtship. If a new date would berate his ex, I would squirm. Becoming the next Ms. Awful, pass.

Clingy needy is not a good look on anyone. Unless you want to sign up for codependent future consoling. No babies on board, whiners step aside, if you want a strong partnership, be a strong partner.

Know who you are to attract what you want.

Let him reach out to you. Do not come up with legitimate reasons to contact him, walk away from any brilliant text ideas, just stop. I love a man with a plan, unless you want to be the mom, or the director, let him come to you. Be the cool chick, if he really likes you, he will chase you down.

Remember, in finding the perfect partner the important things are character qualities, conversation, conflict resolution, and being able to change. Everyone faces changes. Real love connection is a matter of deep conversation, humor, friendship, and how you face problems.

Finally, don’t hit the sheets unless you feel there is real potential. The moment you sleep together changes everything. You bond chemically and his need for the chase settles way down. You may shift into wanting the ‘next love fix’. Before you become that chasing girl, know who you are bedding down with. Having sex will not

Don’t be afraid to fail. To love and lose may not be the greatest loss if lessons were learned. One step closer to knowing where you fall, one step closer to loving better.

We can learn from others! Read about my love journey “A Man for Every Purpose, My Naked Journey Searching for Love”.

My Mantra: “Dating smart will pay off, if you pay attention”

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Katie L Lindley

Although I would like to say I am organized, focused and cookie-cutter, that simply would not be me. I am no different than any other woman in the world. I love to love, love hard, and, in the end, have learned to love myself above all else. So here I am, writing about the many men and the multiple purposes they have served in my life. Realizing that not one man on my roster had fulfilled every single one of my needs. Perhaps one man is not supposed to? I have compiled snippets of the men that have entered my world. In the end, they have shoved me towards my bathroom mirror, forcing me to take a better look at myself. Reflection is brilliant and the strongest guidepost into ourselves.

Working on the next book in the series “A House for Every Purpose, My Journey From Pillow to Pillow” revels a woman abandoning her home in search or her identity beyond men, motherhood, author.

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