“Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes.” Jim Carrey

Valentine’s Day, I have always squirmed in discomfort, feeling a forced love situation. Perhaps I’m most likely tainted by wonderful, awful memories—pressure to get it right and be over-the-top romantic on that particular Day.

As a child, we had to include every classmate with a note, a card I had to sign, and a sugar heart with some divine message such as “be mine.” The last thing I wanted was for Cathy-Chapstick or Billy Strange-kid to be mine. I thought it was a task then, and I still do.

I hate the overpriced set meals, never mind flowers, cholate, and fancy lingerie that will make somehow illicit unforgettable sex until next Valentine’s Day, yay. Oh, and lest he forgets some gold jewelry, go him, poor guy, so much pressure. How many people get engaged on this hopped-up love day? Or breakup, for that matter. I have had it out for St. Valentine for years; that alone is ironic as I am a self-proclaimed warrior for love. Furthermore, Valentine’s Day is when my parents conceived me, on that lucky love day, hence me their favorite daughter. It is time for me to get it right; it is never too late.

This year is different. It has taken me a while to formulate a shift and turn this Day into something worthy, practical, and flat-out positive! It helped that I was trapped at home due to illness with nothing but napping and tissue boxes. I concluded that being married is not easy, but that is a given.

Every birthday calls for great reflection on my goals, energy, love, life, experiences, and what I can do to be better and feel better. Birthdays do that for me. Why not embrace the same attitude toward a love day?

I devised a plan for love for my jaded Valentine’s Day, an idea to turn the whole damn thing around. My husband and I will take the Day as a love reflection.

Where can we do better? What was challenging about the last year, and how can we navigate it better? Do we feel heard, seen, and acknowledged? What do we want our days going forward to look like? Our disagreements, our partnership, and our heartaches? How can we better take care of ourselves and our relationship? How can we get through disagreements more efficiently?
We both got excited about this idea. I remember being mad at him for weeks, not days or weeks, last year. Stuck in my head, I could not clear my words and communicate my feelings. I am now confident I can do better and will. It is unfair to hold a person you love emotionally hostage, and I know better. I am lucky I have a partner that wants to do better, just like I do. We are both lucky, but it takes work, I won’t lie. I liked the Day more when I was single; I would spoil myself with a massage, a new candle, and new pajamas. I was a perfect valentine, for one. Oh, always a guilty romantic comedy.

Blow up Valentine’s Day and make it fit for you, whatever that may look like. Find love right where you are.

My Mantra: “Happy Valentine’s Day, turning our hearts to love and healing.”


Valentines Day are you a hater of that blown up day? #love #reflection #valentines day #katie l lindley #sex #love #getting love right #live advice

♬ Send Me on My Way – Vibe Street

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Katie L Lindley

Although I would like to say I am organized, focused and cookie-cutter, that simply would not be me. I am no different than any other woman in the world. I love to love, love hard, and, in the end, have learned to love myself above all else. So here I am, writing about the many men and the multiple purposes they have served in my life. Realizing that not one man on my roster had fulfilled every single one of my needs. Perhaps one man is not supposed to? I have compiled snippets of the men that have entered my world. In the end, they have shoved me towards my bathroom mirror, forcing me to take a better look at myself. Reflection is brilliant and the strongest guidepost into ourselves.

Working on the next book in the series “A House for Every Purpose, My Journey From Pillow to Pillow” revels a woman abandoning her home in search or her identity beyond men, motherhood, author.

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