“I like to describe myself as a proudly visible member of the most invisible segments of our society – older women.” Cindy Gallop
Freshly divorced in her early 40’s, single mother of two. She had been celibate for a couple of years. Tending to her children whilst going through a sad divorce. Shamelessly flirting with her son’s basketball coach; he was 29. She needed to flirt, someone to find her sexy, slightly embarrassed that she wanted men to notice her. As the flirting turned into something more, passions surged through their relationship. They tried to keep it from the kids, which made it a wee bit sexier. Stolen moments were fiery that added a spring to her step. She picked up every tab when they went out. He asked her to help him with rent money; she gave him $100.00 a month. He went surfing in Costa Rica alone for three months. Suddenly, grown men that could manage their own rent seemed far more appealing. Done.
She was at a fancy restaurant sitting at the bar, ordering a steak and salad with expensive wine. She was widowed, sixty but passed for fifty, proudly holding proudly onto the lie. He plunked himself down next to her single thirty-four. They had a flirtatious beginning as she told him flat out, she was too old for him. It did not matter he pushed. Turned out she was a pushover. He was a woodworker. She helped him set up shop, and he did reasonably well with her hoity-toity friends buying handmade pieces. He stayed with her as she grew older, and they held out for fifteen years. No regrets on either part; they loved for who they were. They were a May/Ming Dynasty couple that no one would dare chuckle over.
She was nearing fifty as her children were readying to leave the nest when a spry man of twenty-something came onto her path. She knew what it was, wild passionate sex, and rode out the love until she had to come clean. She told her now-domestic partner; she did not want to have any more children. She encouraged him to look hard if he would give up having his own children. She was at a different place in life, a challenging but honest conversation.
One problem, he simply adored her. Giving up having his own children was easy; giving up her, not so much. Their twenty-year difference need never mind in the soul connection that resonated. Demi More had nothing on them; they fell into the long game.
Older women and younger men should hold no difference from the preverbal older man and the gold-digging sister. Sadly, in our society, at this time, it is viewed differently. When will sexism and ageism not be an ism?
I wish the woman’s movement and the human movement could just magically spring forward, but alas, it will not spring. I wish that there were no lawn signs to inform us that we all matter because we all do, and we shouldn’t need signs for that, but we do.
We all matter, age, race, gender, and preference. Why is it in 2021, we need to be reminded via lawn signs of something so primarily basic? Humans are humans in the walk that they are on with the people they connect with.
My Mantra: “May we celebrate love in all couples. May we matter to those who love us and those who are around us”