REAL LOVE VS. LOVE BOMBING?

“Love yourself first, and everything else falls into line. You really have to love yourself to get anything done in this world.” Lucille Ball

Love can be like looking into the sun, so damn bright. But what if those moments are just a bill of goods and not the real deal? I have been caught up in “Love Bombing” long before it was termed as such. It is so exciting and can sweep a girl off her feet. I went so far as to marry a love-bomber, or maybe he was just an over-the-top romantic? I am unsure if that’s a good question, seeing how we had two children together, but that is a different story. But by definition, he love-bombed me. The real question would be, can you be love-bombed and then find real love?
Love Bomb vs. Real Love:

Love Bomb: RED FLAGS

Oftentimes, it can be too much, too fast. Promises, gifts, a sense of thinking you are the perfect woman when he really doesn’t know you. They hold you up on a pedestal, calling you ‘the one’ ‘soulmate’ or you were ‘destined’ to be together. Dude, it is too much.
The promises of who they are and what they can bring to you. If this is happening too quickly, question it. Promises are easy to make, but they are also easy to break. They want to commit right away, wanting to lock you into something rather than taking time for you to know each other.

If it is too much too soon, see if you can pump the breaks. A genuine love bomber wants to manipulate and control. That is their deal. The thought of taking things slowly will be highly uncomfortable for them. Slowing things down might lead a love bomber out the door, which may be good. Leaving you with roses and a box of chocolates, but in the end, it was a grand facade. Being tricked into love is sticky and messy because as your true selves come to the surface, no amount of over-the-top romance will fix the situation. Love bombing is like a rollercoaster ride; it is a blast until you puke up the cotton candy behind a bush.

Unhinged, unsustainable amount of adoration and attention. Get honest with what is unreal because it can and will blow up.

Real Love:

That love can arrive way less fancy. Initially, it may feel like you are head over heels for months. After the love blinders come off, you can see each other as you are. Or what you know about yourself up to that point. If that sounds unromantic, it is because it is. Love is getting through tough times together. It is seeing your partner at their worst. Love is having to say sorry and learning not to make that mistake again. Love is going through days considering another person other than yourself. Love is feeling exceptional and stronger alongside that person, and they bring out the best in you. Love has compromises, but it is never a compromise of self, self-worth, morals, or standards you hold dear. Love makes you want to do better, be better, and share with your best friend. That is real love. Real love can be real fun.
How do you know it is real love? Do they support you in who you are? Your heartfelt calling is being seen and encouraged; that is the right one for you.

My Mantra: “Learning what love is starts with self-love.”