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“Looking for love is tricky business, like whipping a carousel horse.” George Cukor
The search for love can seem daunting. Endless efforts online, hiring a match maker, going out to parties and single events. Like fishing in still waters, nothing gets on your hook. Hopelessness can sink into your bones when your efforts are empty handed. Trust me I have been there, more than once.
All over the map searching for love can be, riddle with optimism, false hope, and discouragement. When do you call it quits and take up with cats and good books? Never, cats are independent, for the most part, and the books your reading are about someone else’s love.
With some small changes the love your looking for can show up.
Love is available at any age anywhere, I promise. The oldest couple to get married on record, the groom was one hundred and three years old and the bride was a spring chicken at ninety-seven. They had been living together for five years and decided to make it legal. After all they wanted to set a proper example for their great grand kids!
What can you do to shift your chances? Love lists are a great help to point you in the right direction. Know your love language. Is it acts of service, words, quality time, gift giving, physical affection? Your love language speaks to how you give and receive love.
Work through any past pain and hurt from other relationships. Severe the cords that bind you towards negative thoughts. Let them float away send those memories past your heart. After that step, find some gratitude. They were a part of your love journey and you chose them. Take responsibility, be culpable.
Finally try to have eyes that see beyond looks, chemistry, and insane passion. At the end of the day a wonderful strong partner can offer more. A person with great integrity should beat out a hunky dream boat. Check in with yourself, are you a great partner full of loyalty and love? Can you adjust the way you show love to answer your partners love language?
My partner and I were single, as in not married, for twenty years each. That is forty years between us! When we met, we did not see sparks, we barely glanced each other’s way. We had a bad date then that felt like the end of our story but it was not. Our story here is important because once we became friends, it was obvious that we could fall in love. We in fact did! I had to drop all preconceived ideas of how love was supposed to arrive. Our hearts were ready and friendship guided the way into a strong partnership. I know that my partner will show up for me as life presents changes that are welcomed, or unwelcome. He will be by my side, as I will for him.
Lists are important, but beware do not list yourself out of love. I have seen fussy friends that thought their date wat too old, or too chubby, or too whatever. Lists are wonderful guidepost if you don’t allow them to cloud what could be possible.
Never give up on love, never ever. Or if you want to, do. You can cheer on other friends as they go through their love journey.
Recommended reading: “The Five Languages of Love” by Gary Chapman, and of course my love journey, “A Man for Every Purpose, My Naked Journey Searching for Love”. Both available on Amazon. Happy reading, happy love quest!
When do you call it quits??? Never!
My Mantra: “Love is available for everyone at any age with eyes that can see, and a willing heart”