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Etiquette means behaving yourself a little better than is absolutely essential.

Will Cuppy

I am in the dating world. I also am the busybody sitting on the bar stool asking perfect strangers personal questions. From what I can gather personally and or otherwise there are rules for sexual politeness. Consideration for the naked date and coupling practice do exist and rightly should.

I have always been a bit measured before I hop into the sack. Pretty much I know what I am getting. Not literally but in the sense of whom the fellow is. Minor things like getting the door, I prefer a chivalrous man that will take me into consideration. Mutual consideration is important between the sheets. For all involved. Sharing a new experience can go sour fast if one person is selfish or crass. Meaning if a sexual partner does not factor in the feelings of the other person. It is a bit like dancing, a rhythm the breath can work to serve you. It can be energetically sacred with a wonderful exchange. Or it can be something you want to forget and not notch that one on your bedpost.

I had one experience with a guy I really liked very much. That is why I allowed myself to be naked and vulnerable. I think it is bad form to check out the goods before the naked date so whatever the endowment may be a positive response is always called for.

This man made a hurtful comment to me that crushed me. Afterwards… we were lying in bed, all after glow he said, “You sure take a long time ”. I told him how hurtful that was and in attempt to defend myself pointed out we were just getting to know one another. I did not retort, “you were too rushed” also know as “too quick” or “premature”. Thinking to myself don’t most men know that women are built differently and do require a heartfelt focused ten minutes longer? In the big picture ten minutes is really nothing. That is where my misconduct lay; I was embarrassed to talk about it with him.

I put etiquette and feelings ahead of being rude and forthright. There are many other forms of sexual misconduct including being gross or grossly misunderstood. Shut the bathroom door and you mouth if you have anything to say, allow it to be kind. Communication from what I can gather can take sexual moment so much further if you are able to express what feels good and is pleasing. Even if this is just a one nightstand give it your best. Manners count.

My Mantra:  “Kindness towards a lover will benefit me”