The walls we build around us to keep sadness out also keeps out the joy.
There are times in everyone’s love life when the walls come up. A normal response to protect a broken heart. Like other emotional experiences life throws at us it’s a matter of navigating through it and not remaining stuck.
Coming from disappointment and pain, it seems right to be guarded. The healing, that can and should be one’s own process. A little guard time very well may be in order.
My guy friend is going through the end of a marriage. The divorce will shortly be completed yet he is still unraveled. He is going to consoling once a week. Guy friend’s reason is not to see where she was at fault, but where he was. He self journey is brave and I champion his wanting to better himself. I am honored to hang out with him and show him encouragement and love. I am part of this divorce club and it is no fun.
I’ve had some seriously hurtful and disappointing moments in love relationships. Including friends, and friendships. These hurtful times for me can send me into obsessive thinking and dark days. One time it took so much of myself to really recover from a divorce I avoided facing the facts at a high price to myself. I’ve learned the hard way to try and look at the lessons when they present themselves.
To get back on the preverbal horse and take a ride at love again can be scary business. I am well aware I must love and know myself first. This is where it all begins, self-compassion and forgiveness. I found that task the most challenging. It is an ongoing process that is easier to face daily.
Allowing another to accept me and love me for who I am takes guts. It is courageous to become vulnerable totally going big into love. Trusting “the one” and myself that I will allow (the walls to come down). Being absent of love or guarded from harms way is not for me; I would rather take a risk then the lonely option of never knowing love again. Here I am love come and get me!
My Mantra: “My heart is free from walls and it is safe to allow love in”