Intense love does not measure, it just gives.

Mother Teresa


A question that lingers with so many daters, myself included. Gone are the days when in grade school if you had a “boyfriend” that meant he might call you. Then in high school the same title would mean you are “going steady”. My parent’s day one would get “pinned”. Not so much in today’s world of love.


There is dating, boyfriend girlfriend, open relationship, exclusive, promised, engaged, hanging out, married, and I am sure many things in-between. It is hard to keep track of. Options in a relationship may change and morph into another status without warning or a clear conversation. So are women/men supposed to wait for clues and read meaning into everything? Ambiguity is a tough nut when is comes to relationship.


I have had a great man in my life for almost two years. We neatly started dating and I really liked him. Weeks later we efficiently and naturally transformed into boyfriend girlfriend status. Then he went to break up with me. That is when it got tricky. I did not want to let him go out of my life.  I gave him a hall pass that stated we could “see” each other when the timing is right for him. Another relationship title we are “seeing each other”. How confusing is that title? Seeing each other what? It all drives me bonkers.


Instead of getting caught up in the meaning of where things are, or going, I find it helpful to just enjoy whom I am with at the moment. That may sound frightfully caviler but my heart is anything but glib. I have many men in my life right now mostly friends. Instead of obsessing over one man I am in the position to just love him. With that love comes complete and utter acceptance of who he is. Who is he? A man who cares for me deeply and would protect me fiercely. A man who does not include me in his activities with his family, yet. A man that has moments when he just needs to be alone. If I can embraces and except my own quirks in myself, shouldn’t I accept the one’s I love?


I am old enough now that throwing traditional titles around such as “husband” “boyfriend” or even “lover” hold less meaning for me. If we can’t change the status with our mate we can change our own perspective. I realize that the power of manifestation is alive and well. Calling from my heart what is good, knowing I deserve love, we all do. Love is the only title that I care about. I care deeply about love.


My Mantra:

“I am blessed to have loving relationships in my life”

“I am grateful for all the love I receive and give”

Share This Story, Choose Your Platform!

Katie L Lindley

Although I would like to say I am organized, focused and cookie-cutter, that simply would not be me. I am no different than any other woman in the world. I love to love, love hard, and, in the end, have learned to love myself above all else. So here I am, writing about the many men and the multiple purposes they have served in my life. Realizing that not one man on my roster had fulfilled every single one of my needs. Perhaps one man is not supposed to? I have compiled snippets of the men that have entered my world. In the end, they have shoved me towards my bathroom mirror, forcing me to take a better look at myself. Reflection is brilliant and the strongest guidepost into ourselves.

Working on the next book in the series “A House for Every Purpose, My Journey From Pillow to Pillow” revels a woman abandoning her home in search or her identity beyond men, motherhood, author.

Join Sex•Love•Mantra Newsletter!

Monthly Dating Stories and Advice

Thank you for your continued love and support