“My philosophy of dating is to just fart right away.” Jenny McCarthy
Looking for love and always running in the same dating circumstances? Dating different dudes with similar problems?
Trust me, this merry-go-round I’ve spun around, and around until nauseum. I had the hilarious thought that this was the guy! I choose him therefore it had less to do with him and more to do with me…
I was showing up damnit! I was making an effort putting on a flouncy blouse and a glossy smile.
I wanted a forever finally. My parents had it, others around me seem to have it.
Dating just wore the hope right out of me. I would go online dating and then off, like a kid in a bounce-house. I held hope with each connection, breathlessly creating a story of holidays, parties, and a person. I wanted a person, the person. He must be Mr. Next Nice Guy, mustn’t he?
I felt much like The Bachelorette without the hair make-up and condensed time frame. For me dating weeks, turned into months, and years. I was ‘an always girl’…I was always available, always ready for big love, always hopeful, always yes, always disappointed. Pull date, time for heartache, lessons, then back on the dating ride I would go.
How did I learn to become a forever? It really took me writing a book and deep painful reflection. I am not suggesting writing a book to find your finally. amanforeverypurpose.com
However, writing down the commonalities is a brilliant start! The most important thing to understand is, it is you. I was attracting men that were only so available,not the finally one. It was me that wholeheartedly thought I could change this partially committed man.
Know what you what you want and what you have to offer in a partnership. Your love history is the greatest personal guidepost. Have an honest friend tell you what they have seen in you, not them. It is so obvious from the outside, I hate/love that.
Pay attention especially before you have sex.Sex changes the view and clouds well, everything. If you take your time, require respect, friendship, conversation, laughter. You are smart and way ahead, stay ahead!
Whatever your list of importance is, know your list, do not compromise! If a guy wants you all to himself, it may seem super flattering, think again, he maybe controlling. Your blinders must be off. You have to be able to honestly pass on the wrong match with ease. You are worth the right one.
I got my forever finally when he added me to his health insurance, when he slept in the hospital room with me when my mother broke her hip. Family matters, to me he showed himself. I knew I found a finally when we talked all night long before we had naked time.
My pattern had changed and so did my results. If what you are doing is not working, STOP.My Mantra: “Love is available to everyone at all times in life”