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“Be empowered as a female, as a woman. Don’t apologize. Don’t lose yourself in another person’s life.” Pepa

 

Wakened from a dream sleep. Flashes of herself long ago, the sad girl she once was. Curled up in a ball being struck down by his damning words. Shaking off feeling unworthy of his love.

If she could only try harder, grappling with her thoughts, not wanting to lose the man she loves. It was always the same, she would fade away only to come back to him with an apology.  Abandoning herself to shrink into his world. He never laid a hand on her, but chipped away at her soul with intentional cruelty. This was not the first man to treat her that way, but it would be the last.

She remembered the girl of long ago. She sent her more love and healing to her then self. Standing tall from her nap. Her daughter toddled into her room as dad followed. “Did you have a nice rest?” he inquired with kindness. “Yes, darling thank you”.

They met a short three years ago at the local farmers market. It was as easy as spring air. They chatted in front of the apples until the temporary pop ups were removed. From there they went across the street to a Mexican restaurant and talked until it closed down. It was seamless, she trusted herself now. She knew she would never tolerate a mean-spirited man again.

She did the work. She went to woman’s groups, found a therapist, took a class in healing, she practiced yoga, she walked for miles on end. She attracted a new set of friends, ones that she could be honest with. Finding strength and peace she found joy in her days. She had been alone for nearly three years when she easily met her husband. He was gentle, she then saw the brilliance in his tender heart. She knew her old self would have tossed him aside. She now embraced herself, she embraced her life. Never again would she feel breakable and fragmented.

She now liked what she saw in the mirror. The reflection was a woman that could love. Could love herself, and pass on that love to her family.

My Mantra: “Lessons can be self-taught and learned from others”