“Dating has taught me what I want and don’t want, who I am, and who I want to be.” Jennifer Love Hewitt
Navigating the dating world seems trickier than it was years ago. The internet has opened up dating to a whole new level. This can overwhelm and seem daunting. I have had many confused and mind spinning moments in search of love.
Are you single and looking for the right fit to stop dating the multitude? Maybe a few well-earned ideas can help you.
Putting your best foot forward is a given. This should be apparent on the first few dates and beyond. That is expected on both sides. After you get past the standard exchanging of ‘stories’ watch and see how that person treats and talks about others. What do you hear them saying about their friends, family, coworkers and ex? How are they to servers?
Dating should come with a warning label, but it doesn’t. I may appear as if your dates are trying to trick you, like a used boyfriend/ salesman, getting you to sign the lease to be the ‘next girlfriend’. Pay attention, kick the tires, but put off checking under the hood.
Let the warning label read: “Read between the lines while searching for love”
It is the smallest of things at the beginning that you should not ignore. If it seems to pencil out on paper… but he is rude to the server do not put on your blinders! The guy that has the capacity to be mean to strangers. Is that what you want in your future? This one should not be brought home, do not make excuses. Would he talk smack about your family, or friends to try to bolster himself up and isolate you? Pass on Rude Guy.
What is important to you? Do you know your love language and have your love list? Knowing what you want is as important as sorting through the wrong ones. That is your true guidepost.
Ultimately we attract where we are at the time. Are you in a good place? Have you worked through anger, culpability, disappointment? Do you know why you attracted the last go around? Lessons are the greatest thing we can take away from the pieces of broken hearts.
What we put out is what we will get albeit good or bad, it is a simple law of love.
Read more about dating and a love journey that spans decades in my book www.amanforeverypurpose.com.
Use your eyes, ears, smarts, and your gut instinct. Your instincts will be spot on every time. If you have done the work, knowing what you want, what you can give, and healing, you will be ready. You can trust your instincts or gut feelings to lead you towards the right choice.
Check in with your own motives. I know women, and men, that compromise for security and other reasons. Hear the word compromise, it will set you up for failure.
Except a person for who they are, reject a person for who they are, but ultimately if you compromise you are only going to disappoint yourself.
Love, like us humans, is far from perfect. However, it is an opportunity to grow, be better, and learn more about yourself. Love is amazing. Keep searching with feet on the ground expectations in tack, and an open heart. Love is nothing but surprising.
My Mantra: “With love and dating it is always better to try”