Online dating can present dozens of dating opportunities. It can be dizzying with endless first-date potentials.

I was the girl smack dab in the middle of dates lined up one after the other. I will not judge if that is where your life has taken you. You have to have a certain amount of grit to put yourself out there over and over. However, the guys are putting themselves out there as well and picking up the check.

Some of the guys never got a second data; One guy was a tad younger and handsome, and we chatted on the phone easily. We met for coffee. He was charming. Then he looked around and saw a yogurt shop. He said, “I love that yogurt shop. Banana vanilla is my favorite”. I knew right there, as his voice almost became child-like, that he would never ask me what I would like or put me above his needs. No second date for him; I never had yogurt but witnessed him lick away.

 Another guy who was whip-smart, handsome, and a bit older said, “When you hang out with my friends and me, you will have to listen to us complain about our aging and aliments” Pass, I was not ready for that.

One guy pulled at his ear hairs the entire time I sat through one glass of wine. No, stop. I did not want to revisit the ear pull guy.

One guy could not stop talking about his sexual abilities to please women. Too much too soon. Pass on the dirty-boundary guy.

One date wanted to introduce me to his five children the next day. Again, too soon, no. I was not interested in becoming Mary Poppins.

Another guy showed up ten years older than his photo. I did not want to start our connection with false advertising.

One date wanted to whisk me off to Europe the following week. “Is your passport up to date”? Wow, all I could imagine is trying to escape a sketchy situation; where is Liam Neeson? Stay home, stay safe—no date two in flight.

My friend dated a guy once and thought he was too old. A year later, they had a second date. After living together for five years, they were married.

Another friend of mine showed up for her date, and he had a parrot on his shoulder he was more comfortable talking to than her.

A different friend dated a guy, and she thought, no way, we don’t connect. She dated him again ten years later, and they are now engaged to be married.

One of my favorite bad dates is noteworthy.

The guy invited me to join him for wine. He was handsome, and we seemed to get along. I was bewildered when he did not ask me for a second glass or if I was hungry? I found that to be rude and confusing. I left annoyed, never wanting to see that one again.

Then the irony. I ran into him over and over again. Like fate on steroids, there he was. We ended up having martinis at a famous bar. The end of that story resulted in marriage.

The second glass of wine will never again be neglected. We are members of a winery; all is well that ends well.

The moral of the story is. You may pass on him on the first date. But he may not be out of your life. Love will never cease to surprise me.

My Manta: “If your heart is open, the right one will show up.”

http://www.amanforeverypurpose.com

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Katie L Lindley

Although I would like to say I am organized, focused and cookie-cutter, that simply would not be me. I am no different than any other woman in the world. I love to love, love hard, and, in the end, have learned to love myself above all else. So here I am, writing about the many men and the multiple purposes they have served in my life. Realizing that not one man on my roster had fulfilled every single one of my needs. Perhaps one man is not supposed to? I have compiled snippets of the men that have entered my world. In the end, they have shoved me towards my bathroom mirror, forcing me to take a better look at myself. Reflection is brilliant and the strongest guidepost into ourselves.

Working on the next book in the series “A House for Every Purpose, My Journey From Pillow to Pillow” revels a woman abandoning her home in search or her identity beyond men, motherhood, author.

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