WHY I NEVER LEFT ANY OF MY THINGS AT MY BOYFRIENDS HOUSE?

“If you really like a guy don’t lose anything, especially your mind” me.

Some women may leave a trinket or two behind such as panties, makeup remover, anything distinctly female. A feeble attempt at marking their territory, leaving their sent behind like a golden retriever. Dumb idea. Guess what? Most men don’t even care. Making an excuse to go back, just don’t do that. I am not judging I’m sure in my decades of desperate and dating I did that very thing. Learning quickly that it did not work, nor should it.

 I do not agree with this clever behavior one little bit. In fact, I have been in many a man’s castle only to see the remints of some other girls gone bye. I even had one man hand me a bag of things he thought were mine but in fact were not, humiliating. This is when I sat up and really noticed.

It was not just him, but most guys don’t care about miscellaneous things. Some men might not hand you a goodie bag to exit with. My observation was that dudes just functioned around the left behind items as if they did not exist. Guys are not thinking oh I wonder when I will see miss pink panties again???… golly that was fun! NO, guys don’t think like that.

When I entered the kingdom I ignored the earrings and other belongings from past company. I simply skillfully stepped around, like a hike avoiding rocks and loose gravel.

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What I would do if I really like the guy? Take everything in and out like a hotel. I would not leave anything to remind him of me. If he wants me then he has to ask me back. Simple. I had a canvass vintage  bag that could carry my personal things, computer, and one change of clothes. I was not going to make myself at home in the bachelor pad nor was I going to claim my territory.

The fact is, the bachelor pad would always be that, a bachelor pad. I had no interest in being the queen in that home, way too much work. A true bachelor pad is never to be reformed.

Think about what you really want…? Trying to trick a guy into wanting you is folly. A colossal waste of time. That dude may invite you to return but it still may be a temporary gig.

I wanted a partnership with a man who would start fresh with me. Someone who understood it was not my job to sort through all the things left behind by the absentminded girls. If our union was to be temporary, I did not want to complain to my friends “yah, I had to go back for my sunglasses, yoga pants, and my favorite sweater.”

I ask one girl about this and she said “do girls still do that?” Yes, they do. There is no age limit on bad choices when it comes to love. Bad choices need to be a coarse we complete and then move on. We need to learn from our choices, not the guy the guys fault. He came like that way, we picked it.

The aforementioned gal decided she wanted a serious guy and would not leave a thing at his place and would not move in until they were engaged. She said she stored most of her things in her car but would not leave anything at his house. Smart girl! They are happily married with a five-year-old son. She was done with having to separate her things when less important relationships came to an end.

My Mantra: “The lessons I learned are to be shared and are universal”

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