“Because I’m a good girl, I tend to fall for the bad boy persona, and it ends up biting me in the butt. They end up not knowing how to treat me, and I end up completely devastated.” Camila Cabello

I had been with the bad boy more than once. I was trying to conform to the sexy, elusive, unchangeable. I learned many lessons in finally understanding you cannot change a person to fit into the mold that made me feel safe. A course in accepting that behavior came with awakening moments. It is not easy to fall in love with a bad boy and hope that my magical love can bring out the fidelity in them. My doomed efforts would always remain the same type of man. Or my sassy ways. I need to be honest; it had misguided moments of super fun. I mean, these types of dudes had experience!

I had been on the sorrowful side of being cheated on. It was simply awful. It tore me down. All the innocent beliefs I held dear became shattered as they should have been. Having a naïve heart only proved never to serve me.

The bottom line was not the intimacy shared with someone else but the lies. Had my partner stepped up and been forthright and courageous about his affair, we would have stood a chance. Or at least in the Shakespearean play that held the audience in my mind, I believed that.

Unfortunately, I repeated this relationship, trying to get a different outcome. Ha, of course, I never did. I had to learn I was attracting it deep within me, not trusting myself on a sub-conscientious level. It was rather ridiculous, but eventually, I got it right. I learned not to draw in this type of deceiver. I was done with that sad part of my love journey.

I knew I wanted a better, more wholesome love and was able to attract what I needed. The laws of manifestation proved to be on my side. I understood that I needed those bad boys to learn my lesson. There is sweetness in what we go through, even if it is not ideal. If I learn and grow and do better, then bravo! I’ve completed the course and crossed that off my list.

I shared some of the men I dated in my book A Man For Every Purpose: My Naked Journey Searching for Love.

We all can make a turn, we can all make better choices, and I did, damn it! Not without scraped knees and a great deal of heartache, but that was my choice, not the naughty boy’s. Bad boys are always available; take them or leave them?

I can easily say I now look at the proverbial ‘bay boy’ as somewhat sad. They, too, are making their shallow choices. I understand this is what they want. I am not that girl anymore.

 I learned my value, eventually, and moved past this type of player.

 If you are caught up in the smooth-slick liar bad boy, don’t beat yourself up. Learn… know your value, and live daily like you know your worth.

 My Mantra: “Leaving behind the bad boy was easy and clear”

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Katie L Lindley

Although I would like to say I am organized, focused and cookie-cutter, that simply would not be me. I am no different than any other woman in the world. I love to love, love hard, and, in the end, have learned to love myself above all else. So here I am, writing about the many men and the multiple purposes they have served in my life. Realizing that not one man on my roster had fulfilled every single one of my needs. Perhaps one man is not supposed to? I have compiled snippets of the men that have entered my world. In the end, they have shoved me towards my bathroom mirror, forcing me to take a better look at myself. Reflection is brilliant and the strongest guidepost into ourselves.

Working on the next book in the series “A House for Every Purpose, My Journey From Pillow to Pillow” revels a woman abandoning her home in search or her identity beyond men, motherhood, author.

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