If this is coffee, please bring me some tea; but if this is tea, please bring me some coffee.

Abraham Lincoln

Dating online or otherwise often times leads to a coffee date. Meet and greet if you will. I have had dozens of these first encounters. I was online dating for two years. I am happily retired from the online happenings for a couple of years now. I found it to be a part time job keeping up with all the fellows. Yes I said fellows. So many coming towards me. Hopeful encounters with a person that is in transition and searching. Just as I was, just as I am.

The pitfall for me was there were too many men. I would be focusing on the current coffee date and my mind would drift to the next guy I was to meet on Tuesday. I know for sure I passed on some very worthy men because of this ridiculous mindset and can easily say I regret it. Trying to instantly depict decipher and detect whether or not they were my cup of tea.

Like a kid standing in a candy store on a hot day with low blood sugar after a long day at the fair. Too many choices can lead me to a diabetic high or dizziness low. At times dozens of men would come to my inbox showing interest in meeting. I tried to handle every person with kindness and respect. If they were not for me I would simple email “I don’t sense a connection here but I bet miss right is right around the corner”.

What I learned from all these one time encounters? Take my time. If they are kind allow the second and third dates. I was too quick to dismiss too many men. Now I check myself and allow me to show up. Even though I have yet to find the ever after man that doesn’t mean I won’t. I believe I will, as I am a hopeless romantic. I just have  realistic expectations that one man is not to fulfill all my needs. I must  come in as a whole person to meet a whole person and add to our live, not complete one another. Jerry McGuire tanks, the dumbest line in a movie maybe ever, “You complete me” makes me want to burp up.

“Be kind to those I meet” “Be happy in myself; openly share that happiness with others”. “True love does exist”.

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Katie L Lindley

Although I would like to say I am organized, focused and cookie-cutter, that simply would not be me. I am no different than any other woman in the world. I love to love, love hard, and, in the end, have learned to love myself above all else. So here I am, writing about the many men and the multiple purposes they have served in my life. Realizing that not one man on my roster had fulfilled every single one of my needs. Perhaps one man is not supposed to? I have compiled snippets of the men that have entered my world. In the end, they have shoved me towards my bathroom mirror, forcing me to take a better look at myself. Reflection is brilliant and the strongest guidepost into ourselves.

Working on the next book in the series “A House for Every Purpose, My Journey From Pillow to Pillow” revels a woman abandoning her home in search or her identity beyond men, motherhood, author.

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