“Here’s what I’ve learned about deal-breakers. If you have enough natural chemistry with someone, you overlook every single thing that you said would break the deal.” Taylor Swift


Okay, so everyone has a deal breaker. That is a fact. It could be as simple as a college degree, or as weird as a snorting while you laugh. Whatever the deal is, it’s going to break the possibility of that union. It is something that is non-negotiable and is personal. It might be prior relationships, prior jobs, medication, impossible in-laws. For some reason we all have things that just turn us off and cause us to fly rapidly in a different direction, zip, zoom, out! I have heard too many tales not to share a whopper or two.

One girl I knew would not date a guy because he laughed like a girl, and was afraid of scary movies. One guy I knew would not continue with a girl because her fingernails were too long, and too red. I have passed on a guy who spit while he talked. Literally on me, and in my mouth. How about the guy who hits the sheets and it’s all about him? Pass. Or the guy that chews his fingernails, gross. I am weirded out by guys with feet that look Neanderthal. I know not nice, and not fair, but choosing love can be brutal.

I am certain many a guy has passed on me. I am tall, almost five foot ten, some guys hate that. I am fussy, obviously, the whole foot thing. I have some unflattering qualities I need to work on such as, interrupting, fearing that my thoughts will be lost. I talk to strangers, and ask awkward questions. What can I say? I am curious. If I didn’t ask so many questions I couldn’t tell you about the girl who passed on a guy because he called his mother every day.

Then the one guy that would give every girl a try. He basically never said no. This wandering bachelor learned as he went along, what mattered and what didn’t. Perhaps at a certain age you’re not as fussy as it all seems new and possible. But perhaps even seasoned daters should glean from that attitude. Maybe if we saw life as fleeting we would be less judgmental and at the same time true to what is important to us? The winning combination to find a lasting partner… where that ‘deal’ you’re okay with and they are okay with yours.

At the end of the day what really matters, what is a essential deal breaker?… How are you treated? How does the other person make you feel? Do you have a voice and participate with decisions? Do you consider your partner, and share easily your ideas? Maybe what life brings us day to day are the simple things that really matter?

If you really like someone it is easier to look past deals and into their heart.

Find out more about my love and dating journey “A Man For Every Purpose”.

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My Mantra: “I am blessed to recognize my flaws, accept myself, and love whole heartedly”


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Katie L Lindley

Although I would like to say I am organized, focused and cookie-cutter, that simply would not be me. I am no different than any other woman in the world. I love to love, love hard, and, in the end, have learned to love myself above all else. So here I am, writing about the many men and the multiple purposes they have served in my life. Realizing that not one man on my roster had fulfilled every single one of my needs. Perhaps one man is not supposed to? I have compiled snippets of the men that have entered my world. In the end, they have shoved me towards my bathroom mirror, forcing me to take a better look at myself. Reflection is brilliant and the strongest guidepost into ourselves.

Working on the next book in the series “A House for Every Purpose, My Journey From Pillow to Pillow” revels a woman abandoning her home in search or her identity beyond men, motherhood, author.

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