“Save a boyfriend for a rainy day – and another, in case it doesn’t rain.” Mae West

First off, my phone is exploding. That alone has me in a dither…

I’ve had professional photos were taken and a couple of candid shots. My friend helped me write my bio. I am certain that I am not the be-all to end-all; I am just me. Single me searching for something more, something real, something sustainable—me on several different online dating sites. I mean, if I am going to go for it, why not go all-in? My head is spinning; I am dizzy from the whole ordeal.

I get confused because I am texting with several different guys on several different sites. I cannot recall what I said to them and details that I should know; I can’t remember. I would honestly think the whole thing is funny as hell if I wasn’t so stressed. Juggling that many men is ridiculous, but that is my life right now.

I wish there were a way to organize this cluster. The whole process has taken me over. Who do I meet? Should I consider the charming guy that is one hundred miles away? I have chatted on the phone with this one particular guy, a great conversation for a long time, but he did not mention meeting. What is that about? Was he playing me? Needing phone company? I bet he is married and wanted phone attention. What if these guys are not real? I had a friend meet a guy that was not the photo on the app; what! How do I weed out the tricksters from the real dudes?

If I am juggling all these different guys, should I assume that they are doing the same thing? I need to breathe and remind myself what my end game is. Note to self, check my bio. Does it reflect my end game?



  • Stay organized. When you create contact info on your phone, add town, job, or details to help you stay on top of it.
  • Please do your research, look them up, verify their identity.
  • Consider getting a google voice number. If the wrong person gets your number, you will have to change it anyway.
  • Video chat, zoom, or facetime before meeting.
  • Drive yourself, do not let him walk you to your car, not yet.
  • Meet in a Public Place.
  • Tell a friend who you are meeting and where and let them know when the date is over.
  • Do not leave your drink alone; date rape drug is real. Go to the bathroom before you meet.
  • Don’t give out too much personal information, seriously.
  • The best advice, use your ‘gut instinct’ if you feel uncomfortable, leave no apologies needed.
  • Have fun.
  •  If he’s nervous, give him some slack and a second date if he seems like one of the good guys.

I’ve had my time with online dating. I have dated many and shared about my dating antics in my book “A Man for Every Purpose, My Naked Journey Searching for Love.” Witty, insightful, and full of dating stories that may curl your toes. I wrote the book because I had numerous people sit across from me and say, “If I could write a book about my dating history….” I took the cue and ran with it. My goal was to help others. You do not have to feel alone if you are single and searching or divorced. I know there is a person for you at every age if your goal is to have a lasting partnership.

Online dating can be as tricky as holding an umbrella in a hurricane. If you want some guidance, you are welcome to set up an appointment. Or read my book that is strung with pearls of wisdom and ultimately wise.

My Mantra: “Love can be as surprising as you could imagine.”

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Katie L Lindley

Although I would like to say I am organized, focused and cookie-cutter, that simply would not be me. I am no different than any other woman in the world. I love to love, love hard, and, in the end, have learned to love myself above all else. So here I am, writing about the many men and the multiple purposes they have served in my life. Realizing that not one man on my roster had fulfilled every single one of my needs. Perhaps one man is not supposed to? I have compiled snippets of the men that have entered my world. In the end, they have shoved me towards my bathroom mirror, forcing me to take a better look at myself. Reflection is brilliant and the strongest guidepost into ourselves.

Working on the next book in the series “A House for Every Purpose, My Journey From Pillow to Pillow” revels a woman abandoning her home in search or her identity beyond men, motherhood, author.

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