“You know why divorces are so expensive? They’re worth it.” Willie Nelson

Oh, breaking up can be so hard. You don’t know if you should leave or you should stay. You have the familiar, you have history, but where are you? The real you? Do you still fit into this once fairytale?

Marriages change, as do long-term relationships. Once and a while, a couple can decide agreeably to go their separate ways. Other times not so smooth. If it is one-sided, it can be heart-wrenching but necessary.

How can you be sure breaking up is the right choice for you?

1) There’s no trust or respect.
Your relationship is in deep trouble if it lacks trust, respect, and stability. If you can’t trust your partner, that alone is cause to break away. If there is no honesty, there is no relationship.

2) You feel stuck in the relationship.

How do you feel about yourself in the relationship? Are you shrinking to fit inside a space that does not hold you? If you are hoping for change, your feelings may be your answer; listen to your gut.

3)You often feel you’re in a one-sided relationship.

If this is the case, he is just not that into you. You can do nothing to change that. It is time to have someone to like you for being you. Stop making lame efforts to see the guy that only somewhat cares about you: no more texts, phone calls, or drive-bys. Find yourself and lose him.

 4) Should you break up because he has become controlling?
Should you break up with a controlling boyfriend? This is one of the most glaring signs that your partner is trying to control or dominate you. This is becoming abusive, and the sooner you recognize this unhealthy pattern, the better. Know what’s happening and have the courage to leave.

5) You’re not the version of yourself you like.
This is such an important reason to leave. I have turned myself inside out to be with the man I thought was my dream guy. I did not even recognize myself. If you have become a version of yourself to stay with the guy, think twice. You used to be calm, had great dreams, were fun, and were happy; if you lost her, leave him and find yourself again.

I am a big fan of love and learning how to succeed in relationships. I wrote about my love journey, “A Man for Every Purpose, My Naked Journey Searching for Love.” Order a copy; you will never feel alone in your dating world again.

My Mantra: “The journey of love can have heartache; turn them into lessons and find your power.”

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Katie L Lindley

Although I would like to say I am organized, focused and cookie-cutter, that simply would not be me. I am no different than any other woman in the world. I love to love, love hard, and, in the end, have learned to love myself above all else. So here I am, writing about the many men and the multiple purposes they have served in my life. Realizing that not one man on my roster had fulfilled every single one of my needs. Perhaps one man is not supposed to? I have compiled snippets of the men that have entered my world. In the end, they have shoved me towards my bathroom mirror, forcing me to take a better look at myself. Reflection is brilliant and the strongest guidepost into ourselves.

Working on the next book in the series “A House for Every Purpose, My Journey From Pillow to Pillow” revels a woman abandoning her home in search or her identity beyond men, motherhood, author.

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