HOW GRATITUDE CAN SHIFT YOUR MARRIAGE?

“When we ask for advice, we are usually looking for an accomplice.” Saul Bellow

They say that a cheating spouse is not about sex, but it is actually about how the “other” person makes them feel.

If you are deep in marriage, you might have a record of all the irritants that your spouse may cause you. It is easy to focus on the little things that drive you crazy. Remember, we are what we eat, so if we digest annoyance towards our partner, it just increases our case against them. Judge and jury stand before you, “that would drive anyone crazy!” Gavel slams down, you knew you were right! Recognizing the things that make you pissed can pile up like a dumpster. Back up the truck, here comes the next load.

I had a husband cheat on me. I wonder if I stopped paying attention to him and became ungrateful for the positive things I liked about him? Dread the thought. Life lessons—when they position themselves in the rearview mirror—can sometimes show up too late.

Suppose you want to be proactive now? Begin with a list. This can be a mental list, but it is proven to be more effective if you write it down. On paper, you can see the things that bring you joy and are truly sweet about your love.

The interesting thing about gratitude is that it can change our perspective. Like putting on different glasses, our view can alter.

How can you practice gratitude? Cultivating gratitude requires being intentional about seeing the things you appreciate and love in your partner. Expressing those things to them will not only help your mate feel loved but also help to shift your own mindset. You will focus on the positive aspects. Fueling us to feel more thankful in our lives, love, and marriage. Actually, intentionally inserting positive thoughts and words will alter your outlook on yourself and your love.

Gratitude is a vital approach in marriage, a positive indicator that a husband and wife find their relationship satisfying, according to a new study of couples married an average of some 20 years. The study finds that when one spouse inwardly feels grateful and outwardly expresses appreciation for the other or their relationship, the other spouse is likely to experience marital satisfaction as well. “Specifically, individuals who reported feeling higher levels of gratitude had spouses who were happier with their marriage,” the study says.

In other words, my inward sense of gratitude is a sign of my own marital satisfaction, and it is “relevant” to my spouse’s marital happiness.

I am not saying to ignore hurtful behavior. Know yourself, be true to who you are, and what is important to you. The closer you get to genuine happiness, the easier it is to shine a light on the positive.

Practicing gratitude can change the relationship you know, not only with your partner but with those around you.
Let me know if shifting into gratitude works for you.