“Love is like a virus. It can happen to anybody at any time.” Maya Angelou

You are putting yourself out there albeit a hook-up for the evening or a relationship with long-term goals. There are many scenarios in between; knowing what you want, who you are, and what you can bring to the relationship is vital. Going online for love can feel like you are placing yourself in the middle of an ad because you are. It can seem scary and outright wrong, but love can show up. If you are brave enough to take the step to create an online profile, here are some fundamental tips from a seasoned dater that may help. I am here for you. You are not alone, but you must be wise.

1) Photos matter most. Choose the right one to convey who you are. Tell a story; that story is you. Know what is in your background, don’t stand in front of your address, and be safe; you can be seen by strangers. Ensure the message and scene are right for you and what you want to convey. You can write the words of a poet, but no one will stop if your photos don’t snap. Choose flattering pictures that represent what you like to do.

2) Say who you are and what you want. Be very specific. I know life and love can shift us in different directions; however, understanding what you want ultimately will save you time. If you want marriage and a long-term relationship, you must pass on the cute guy who wants fun for the evening. Remember what Mya Angelo says, “When they tell you who they are, believe them.” Tell your potential partner who you are. Be quick to pass on the person who has different relationship goals. You cannot change them, so do not waste your time.

3) More about who you are. Divorced, widowed, professional dater, never been married, wants to be married, family, no kids, spill it, say it. Starting on the right foot includes the real you. Bring yourself. What do you like to do? What do you find fun? Goals, aspirations? Who inspires you? Where and how do you see yourself in ten years?

4) How do you sell yourself if you are shy, humble, and don’t even like getting your photo taken? YES, it is still possible. Find a friend to take photos of you doing something you like. Dogs always make me smile a bit brighter. In the photo, be open to meeting someone; turtlenecks close you to the world. Trust in classiness, I never appreciated men who posted a topless photo in shorts, dude; come on, ladies are different than
guys. If you are looking for one night of fun, show the buyer what they will be getting. Otherwise, if you want something more, show something less.

5) Create intrigue. I read about a guy who said he worked in banking but wanted to be a cowboy. I thought that was funny and quirky, so I reached out. Cleverness counts and sets you apart from the others.

Look into who you are meeting, and be a detective. Tell a friend who you are meeting and where, and then check in after your date with your friend. Don’t leave the table or your drink alone; date rape drug is real. Don’t let them walk you to your car. Keep your car and home anonymous. Being wise is smart; if you are wise, you can have fun and be open to meeting a new person.

Lastly, my favorite story is a male friend of mine. He was meeting an online date for the second time and was early like the gentleman he was. Sitting next to his table were four women. They chatted, and one slipped him her phone number. They have been together for ten years. He put himself out there and found his gal one table over.

My Mantra: “Looking for love, open your heart, know what you want, and believe it will show up.”


Don’t give up on love. #love #dating #sex #dating advice #a man for every purpose

♬ Storytelling – Adriel

Share This Story, Choose Your Platform!

Katie L Lindley

Although I would like to say I am organized, focused and cookie-cutter, that simply would not be me. I am no different than any other woman in the world. I love to love, love hard, and, in the end, have learned to love myself above all else. So here I am, writing about the many men and the multiple purposes they have served in my life. Realizing that not one man on my roster had fulfilled every single one of my needs. Perhaps one man is not supposed to? I have compiled snippets of the men that have entered my world. In the end, they have shoved me towards my bathroom mirror, forcing me to take a better look at myself. Reflection is brilliant and the strongest guidepost into ourselves.

Working on the next book in the series “A House for Every Purpose, My Journey From Pillow to Pillow” revels a woman abandoning her home in search or her identity beyond men, motherhood, author.

Join Sex•Love•Mantra Newsletter!

Monthly Dating Stories and Advice

Thank you for your continued love and support