“Sex: the thing that takes up the least amount of time and causes the most amount of trouble.” John Barrymore

If you’re in the dating world, the naked date will most likely arise, pun intended. It can be nerve wracking deciding to couple with a new person. I always thought of sex with a new partner as a big deal. First off getting naked, that factors in. Then the looming question, will you be a good fit? Will he end up as a boyfriend? How do I feel about him? What if fu#cking was not the whole thing? What if coupling was something more? Does he really like, love, care about me? Will this change everything? Note to self, for sure… Sex always changes everything.

My unyielding thoughts in anticipation has caused the expectations of sex be a disappointment more than once, sadly to report.

What I have learned on my love journey is pretty simple. Sex is important but it is not the most important thing. Coupling together requires many factors. It is all right to have sex without an orgasm. What? Happy endings do not have to require happy endings???  Do not argue that statement, loving can be loving without a finish. Take away the pressure of an orgasm and see how much enjoyment you can have from just being together…. That can be fantastic, the removal of expectations can make sex better!

Often times what gets into our head, those thoughts can make it into our bed. Allow the laundry list of things to do fade away. Let’s get yoga-like and be in the moment be with our partner, our connection, and ourselves. That may be the most brilliant naked advice ever…I doubt it, but I’m aiming high here.

Perhaps if we can take our expectations and adjust them to loving connective moments some pressure will be lifted? If the happy ending is the goal, for whatever reason, then talk to your partner and go on that journey together. Sex is our right; we are born as sexual beings. Honor ourselves and our bodies as well as our partners. Sounds like a stepping stone to success. The naked truth is; sex is never as it is portrayed in the movies.

Read about my love journey. It took me a while to learn all this love stuff. It involved many sloppy moments, and numerous disappointments. It involved revealing many truths that are universal. You are not alone on your journey to love, or your journey in love, trust me.

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My Mantra: “A Man for Every Purpose, My Naked Journey Searching for Love”. I am proud I had the courage to share my story. Removing expectations with compassion can equal passion.

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Katie L Lindley

Although I would like to say I am organized, focused and cookie-cutter, that simply would not be me. I am no different than any other woman in the world. I love to love, love hard, and, in the end, have learned to love myself above all else. So here I am, writing about the many men and the multiple purposes they have served in my life. Realizing that not one man on my roster had fulfilled every single one of my needs. Perhaps one man is not supposed to? I have compiled snippets of the men that have entered my world. In the end, they have shoved me towards my bathroom mirror, forcing me to take a better look at myself. Reflection is brilliant and the strongest guidepost into ourselves.

Working on the next book in the series “A House for Every Purpose, My Journey From Pillow to Pillow” revels a woman abandoning her home in search or her identity beyond men, motherhood, author.

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