“I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.” Groucho Marx

The plans are in place, as are the invitations, and aunts and uncles have booked their flights; now what? Her dress was fitted, and the parties were lined up. She forgot to listen to the creeping doubts; she was too busy becoming a bride.

She saw the red flags. He was getting increasingly demanding and controlling as their wedding day approached. They had lived together for two years, and she chalked it up to wedding day jitters; she was wrong. Her dress was hanging at her parent’s home; the flowers were being made. All systems go, but she had a sick feeling. Her doubts increased, but the fuss was on, and she silenced her fears.

She confided in no one, not her future husband, not her best friend made-of-honor. She bottled up her relenting thoughts.

The dilemma of a bride that was caught in the headlights. Stifled with terrifying unknowing, and unable to use her voice. Being honest with herself is the first step. Seeing yourself as a bride and doubting your choice of a husband is conflictual, to say to least.

How can she find her voice?

Suppose she can have a still moment and put everything out of her mind. Digging down into her gut, the answer is right there. Finding strength in what you know is suitable for you is as easy and hard as loving yourself.

Postponing a wedding and being honest with your future husband is a must. If you must silence yourself to marry him, you are in deep trouble. You are your best and only advocate, don’t lose yourself to being a bride for a day.

Losing out on wedding costs is more important than putting yourself in the wrong marriage; forget that perfect dress. We must stop buying into the bride’s fantasy and happily ever after; it does not exist. Step away from the romcoms until you have a handle on yourself.

Know yourself, and have the courage for the part of you that needs to be brave. Put on a crown and know your value.

They were married on their aforementioned wedding day, and within weeks they were planning how they would end it. A wedding does not fix what is wrong. A wedding is not the voice that will stand firm for you for the rest of your life. A wedding is one very costly day that, if you are not marrying the right partner, will cost you eventually.

Learning your lesson to be good to yourself is never too late. To choose better, every day is a do-over; everyone gets a do-over. Make yours count; celebrate you, celebrate what is right, what feels right, and the strength you have learned in your lessons.

My Mantra: “In life and love speaking up for yourself is vital.”

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Katie L Lindley

Although I would like to say I am organized, focused and cookie-cutter, that simply would not be me. I am no different than any other woman in the world. I love to love, love hard, and, in the end, have learned to love myself above all else. So here I am, writing about the many men and the multiple purposes they have served in my life. Realizing that not one man on my roster had fulfilled every single one of my needs. Perhaps one man is not supposed to? I have compiled snippets of the men that have entered my world. In the end, they have shoved me towards my bathroom mirror, forcing me to take a better look at myself. Reflection is brilliant and the strongest guidepost into ourselves.

Working on the next book in the series “A House for Every Purpose, My Journey From Pillow to Pillow” revels a woman abandoning her home in search or her identity beyond men, motherhood, author.

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